Arts and CultureNew York

FREE Boat Rides on the IKEA Water Taxi

When I saw that it is suppose to reach 87 today, I immediately thought about joking about riding the free IKEA water taxi between Manhattan and Red Hook all day.  However, the more I think about it, the less I want to dwell on anything else.  First, because I love boats.  I prefer canoes and rowboats (and those everglade fan boats that haul) but being on the water is always suuu-weet.  Don’t believe me, where the fuck have you been?

Like I said, boat’s are pretty awesome.

Second, it doesn’t matter anyway.  I could write about a free vanilla extract sniffing party with Mixed Martial Arts and music by Nina Simone and you wouldn’t go because you haven’t checked your computer since Friday because yesterday was so amazing too.  So amazing that I got a sunburn and dehydration headache.   Anyway, the bottom line is, when the weather is crap or you are in the work weed grind you are all about free shit, but on a nice weekend, especially the first nice weekend, you couldn’t give a rat’s ass. You’re out in the park just laughing it up.  However, just in case you COULD give a rat’s ass, here is today’s boat schedule.  If you pack a lunch you can make 28 crossings!  And if you do strike it rich one day and can have your own boat parties, don’t forget to get your boo some bling.  For some reason they always want engagement rings.

Where: Water taxi departs from Pier 11 in Manhattan and the IKEA in Redhook.

When: see the weekend schedule here

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Oliver Hartman - Resident Bargain Whorespondent

Oliver Hartman - Resident Bargain Whorespondent

Oliver was born in 1983, the year of the Pig according to the Chinese zodiac. He grew up in Whitefield, Maine, but since college has lived in Boston, Maui, Switzerland, Buenos Aires, San Francisco, Nicaragua, and New York making his bread as a waiter, cocktail boy, camp counselor, writer, english teacher, tennis instructor, guide, model, and design agency jackass.