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How to Enjoy Good Gin on a Broke-Ass Budget

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Oh gin. What a beautiful boozy thing you are. Unfortunately, most people fuck their gin cocktails up and never truly understand the taste of the stuff. One of my favorite places in the world is this little gin join in Bath, England. The Canary Gin Bar. Simple name, biggest mother f’ing collection of gin I have ever seen.

DorothyGasp

Courtesy Giphy

With World Gin Day this month, I thought I would share my most treasured recipes. All simple. All delicious. All fucking doable on a broke-ass budget.

The Real Way To Mix Up A Gin & Tonic

Thanks to my dear friend Peter Meacock at The Canary, I learned a thing or two about the tasty ways of fabulous gin.

Courtesy Bath Chronicle

Courtesy Bath Chronicle

Simply put: all you need is good gin, some killer tonic and a herb, fruit or flower. Sounds crazy pants — yes, but if you’re gonna roll with gin “Go big and bold or don’t do it at all.”

My Fave Gins Off The Beaten Path:

  • Sipsmith VJOP
  • Bath Gin
  • Pinkster
  • Bulldog
  • Dorothy Parker

If you really want a nice, simple gin that’s easy to drink my “go to” is Hendrick’s. It’s basic, delicious and not so pricey.

To make your gin and tonic rock your world, you’ll need: 

  • Ice
  • Gin
  • Complimentary fruit, herb or flower
Courtesy design my night

Courtesy design my night

Look at the profile of your gin. Like what’s in the stuff. If it’s herbaceous with hints of cucumber like Hendrick’s grab a cucumber or some juniper berries. If it has raspberry notes like Pinkster, throw in raspberries. For floral profiles, throw in a few rose petals.

Just follow your gut instinct, you never know what kind of amazing drink you can make with things like a slice of orange, a sprig of rosemary or some lavender.

All you really need to do is put a few cubes of ice into a glass, pour two shots or 50 ml of gin in, top it with a good tonic water like:

  • Fever Tree
  • Fentimans
  • Ledger’s

And bam! Gin heaven.

Courtesy Eliza Domestica

Courtesy Eliza Domestica

One Kick Ass Gin Martini 

Gin martinis are so damn delicious. Unfortunately, a totally popular British twat bag ruined them for everyone. Why? Don’t ever shake a damn gin martini. It will bruise the gin and ruin it’s entire flavor profile. Ian Fleming wrote “shaken not stirred” as a wind-up, and it’s been ruining cocktails for like ever.

You’ll Need: 

  • 50 ml of your favorite gin
  • 25 ml Dry Vermouth
  • Ice

How To Not Fuck It Up: 

Chill your Martini glass like a pro by putting it in the freezer. Throw some ice into a shaker. Pour the gin over said ice, and walk away for a minute. You gotta let that bad boy rest. Grab your frosty glass, and pour in the vermouth. Then dump that shit in the rubbish. Why? You just want the hint of it in your damn drink. Give your gin a good swirl and pour it into a frosty glass. Garnish with a twist of whatever fruit your little gin loving heart desires and savor the hell out of the most properly made Martini on earth.

Courtesy sofa.com

Courtesy sofa.com

The Best Way to Get On Your Knees

You, with the dirty mind! This Prohibition-style cock…tail is for you. Whip up a Bee’s Knees for one sweet dreamy gin treat. This one really packs a dirty sweet punch.

You’ll Need: 

  • Cheap-ass gin with a traditional flavor profile like Tanqueray No. Ten or Aviation, or splurge and use Sipsmith VJOP! 
  • 2 tsp. Honey
  • 1 tsp. Water
  • 1 1/2 tsp. Fresh Ass Lemon Juice

What The Hell You Do With It: 

  • Pour two shots or 50 ml of gin into a shaker with ice. Let it rest for a few minutes.
  • Mix the honey and water until the honey completely dissolves.
  • Pour the honey water and lemon juice into the shaker. Give it a good stir, but don’t shake this — because you know, you’ll fuck up the taste of your drink.
  • Pour your dirty little delicious concoction into a martini glass and serve with a lemon twist to be super-fancy.
Courtesy Beehive Distilling

Courtesy Beehive Distilling

If you’re really feeling frisky, get your broke-ass to Bath with the cheap flights WOW are running to Bristol or London. Go say “Hi” to Peter and all the lovely Gin Masters at The Canary for me. You’ll thank me one day.

Happy World Gin Day, you Broke-Ass Beautiful Biscuits!

Courtesy Bath Gin

Courtesy Bath Gin

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Sassy Lil' Biscuit moonlighting as an underwater basket weaver. What? It's a valid profession.