Where to Get FREE Condoms!
Sex is great. But you know what’s not so great? Unprotected sex. (Sorry, thrill seekers.) With the amount of sex that everyone is having and the plethora of resources available, it’s near criminal to have to buy condoms in this day and age.
And let’s be honest – the drugs you can buy with the $10 you don’t spend on condoms will make everyone happier in the long run, so don’t do it. Okay? Instead, focus your energy on getting condoms FO’ FREE. Here are some easy ways to make that happen:
1. Go to the doctor.
Seriously, go. No matter your gender identity, if you are at the doctor and you say “May I please have some condoms?” they will give you some. They also probably have a jar of them on a counter somewhere in the office, so if you’re feeling ~dAngEr0u$ you can probably just reach in and take them. (You can leave out the sign that says “Please take one!” when you tell your friends later.)
2. Go to Rubber Revolution.
It sounds like I made up this website for the purpose of this article, but I didn’t. Type “Rubber Revolution DC” into Google (on privacy mode) and you’ll be sent to a page where you can sign up for free condoms to be shipped to you. There’s also a handy “Free Condom Locator” section of the site where you can type in your zip code and it will highlight organizations giving out free condoms in your area. It’s like Yelp, but for condoms!
3. Raid your more responsible friend’s sock drawer.
It’s always a good rule of thumb to keep a condom or two in your wallet, but in the event that you haven’t done that – borrow one from your friend. Even if they make you pay them back later, it’s free in the meantime. Right?
4. Ask the government.
If you work for or volunteer with a social/health organization, you can ask the New York State Department of Health to send you free condoms. This may not be a great idea if you don’t want the New York State Department to know about your sex life, or if you don’t live in New York State, but hey – free is free!
5. Ask for free samples.
Companies offering specialty condoms will offer single pack samples if you ask nicely enough. This won’t apply to your standard Trojans, though, this is for the condom brands that glow in the dark, are made of snakeskin, or are have certain qualities that make you wonder if they should go in a vagina at all. YOLO, people, so don’t be afraid to ask.
6. Visit Planned Parenthood.
They have them, and they will give them to you FOR FREE. If you do this frequently, it might be a good idea to also donate some money from time to time. Once Trump actually figures out how to defund Planned Parenthood, they’ll need it.
7. Don’t have sex.
If you tell enough people that you’re not having sex, they’ll take pity on you and give you a condom. You’ll amass so many free condoms that by the time you need it, you’ll have them readily available. Just, you know, make sure they don’t expire. (Also, this is actually horrible advice.)
8. Steal them from your local Duane Reade.
What can I say? I’m a rebel.