Adventurous Sex

CONFESSIONS OF AN OMNISEXUAL

The Bay's best newsletter for underground events & news

By Rob Yaeger

Maybe you know me. I’m Rob Yaeger. For eight years, I’ve been cranking out porn of all sorts. I started off filming myself wanking. Then I moved into just about every porn genre you can think of: gay, trans, straight, groups. It’s all been fair game for me.

Exhibitionism and eroticism are my trade. I get off on showing off. I have hundreds of scenes to prove it.

Sexuality is my language. I fancy myself quite the wordsmith in that language. That’s not just hot air, either: This is the life I lead. I have experiences and anecdotes to back up every claim I make about what makes human beings horny.

Whenever anyone googles me, the inevitable question I get is: “You say you are an omnisexual. What is that?” It’s a fair question and I don’t begrudge anyone who asks it. Put simply, omnisexual is like omnivore, except with fucking instead of food. 

Omni comes from Latin; it means “all, or everything.” Omnivorous dinosaurs ate plants and meat. Omnisexuals fuck all holes, regardless of gender. Yet there’s a slight refinement: Omnisexuals are active fuckers; they aren’t bottoms. They are voracious, libidinous beings who thrill at the hunt after people they find attractive (of any gender) and thrill even more in devouring their prey once they catch it (i.e., sinking their dicks in).

This isn’t to say that omnisexual implies violence or arrogance. To the contrary, my own omnisexuality is all about a mutual fit: I get turned on knowing that my partner understands my role and can match it with their own. It’s like prey consenting to be bitten by the predator. To me, consent is hot: My dick gets hard when I know the person I’m with wants me just as much as I want them.

And that’s the whole thing: All our sexualities are unique. I say I’m omnisexual, yet for all my attempts to define it, it’s still unique to me, Rob Yaeger. Desire operates on a purely subjective level. Sometimes we are not even aware why we have certain desires, or where they come from.

Yet desire is undeniable. It speaks the truth. It tells us what we really want. And what is more individual than that?

I will say this, though: I resist categorization. Desire is too fluid and too dynamic for that. This alienates me from partisans in various quarters who seem to think that sexuality is a political affiliation or an inalterable formula.

Often, confusion arises when I say I’m omnisexual. “Well, isn’t that just bisexual?” Actually, it isn’t. I don’t like the term “bisexual.” It implies that there are only two genders, two choices, two desires. This is ridiculous: There are innumerable genders, innumerable choices, innumerable desires. As an omnisexual I consume them all, fuck them all. To think there are only two is a boring thought indeed.

Then there’s the more recent coinage, pansexual. Pansexuals are into all genders and desires, but not necessarily as exclusive tops. That definition comes closer to the mark, but the distinction lies in the omnisexual’s invariable (and unapologetically) active role in sex.

I like to think that an omnisexual is kind of like being Dracula: Everyone out there is fair game to bite, and once bitten, they are part of the circle. But no one bites Dracula. They simply swoon at the bite.

I can’t please everyone, and I don’t mean to. All I can do is explain what makes me tick, and that’s what you’ll get from me in my writing: Impressions, experiences and perspectives from an omnisexual male sex worker in New York and Las Vegas.

Follow Rob Yaeger on Twitter.

Previous post

Broke Ass Stuart's Weekly NYC Comedy Breakdown!

Next post

Misconceptions about Muslims


Guest Writer

Guest Writer

We write for busboys, poets, social workers, students, artists, musicians, magicians, mathematicians, maniacs, yodelers and everyone else out there who wants to enjoy life not as a rich person, but as a real person. Namely, we write for you.

We’re currently looking to expand our author pool. If you’re snarky, know what’s happening in your town, and good at making your fingers type out funny words, then you might be just the person we’re looking for. Email alex@brokeassstuart.com with some writing samples if you're interested. Cheers