Advice

Why You Should Break Up with Your S.O. via Social Media

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by Amelia Palmer

Relationships are hard, and sometimes it’s time to call it quits. Maybe your partner leaves their dirty clothes everywhere, or stopped showering weeks ago, or maybe they’re just an asshole! Whatever your reason for giving them the boot, don’t bother with an antiquated private breakup! Opt for social media instead.

The benefits are numerous…

Everyone Gets the Message

You can skip delivering the awkward news to your friends and family. They will know and can virtually react or comment as well as your ex-partner.

All reactions are good reactions!

Also, you can skip gauntlet of probing questions: What happened? Why?  What did they do? What did you do? These questions will all be answered in the long, “see more” diatribe you post and the resulting dirty-laundry comments!

You’ll Say What You Want to Say

In the heat of an argument,  you’re more likely to say some pretty cringeworthy things. Using social media allows you to slow down and think before you type. If your ex replies with a nasty-ass comment, just turn your computer off for a while and pretend it never happened.

When your laptop is off, your problems disappear!

Plus, it also gives your ex time to think and reflect. He, she, or they are less likely to do something they will regret in the future. Plus, having your breakup in such a public form will keep you both courteous and professional. Everyone knows social media is the place for polite discourse! 

Your Post Will Get Lots of Attention

Who doesn’t enjoy being internet famous? Not many people are as highly evolved as you are, and you can help set the social media breakup #trend! Your pioneering efforts will be well-rewarded. Remember the phrase “any publicity is good publicity”…? That’s 100% correct, and will apply to your post as well!

Entertainment

Your love life will provide others with the entertainment and drama they so desperately crave. People who say they don’t like drama are lying. Not everyone has the guts to lead a life full of controversy, to turn their life into a textual train-wreck reality show, but you can certainly oblige your friends… even if you don’t stay friends!

You can Practice Being Open and Vulnerable

Everyone is fake on the internet. By using it to honestly end your relationship, you are changing the paradigm! 

Your break up post can be real and honest. You can admit your faults and take responsibility for your part of the relationship while subtly hinting at how IMPORTANT what you’re doing is. Not many people are willing to take responsibility for their actions, after all, but you can take that step of #bravery.

No Bullshit

You can skip the it’s not you it’s me crap and be honest. The keyboard can give you the courage to actually explain why you’re deciding to end the relationship. Remember, now that you have avoided having to face the person you’re breaking up with directly, you can say anything with no consequences! 

People will Know You’re Back on the Market

Making your breakup public is a great way to let other cute individuals know you’re now single and ready to mingle in the DMs. Yes, you may need time to mourn your relationship (LOL), but what makes mourning better than an oh-so-lovely rebound? You deserve to have some fun after the emotionally mature decision you’ve made. 

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