While your living room chairs probably aren’t sneaking up to get it on on your roof. Though, that would be preferable your stuffed animals singing the un-catchy, boring songs in the worst muppet special ever. Or maybe all your stuff does is collect dust while you’re gone, but you’ll never

There comes a time in everyday when your mind wanders into the gutter and you start thinking things like, “Gee, I wish I knew more about the history and current trends of Japanese masturbatory aid technology.” Pete’s Candy Store can answer all your questions. Tonight, they’re starting back up the

Pete’s Candy Store has been a staple of the Williamsburg bar scene for as far back as I can remember. And that year is specifically, 2003. Any year before that is dead to me. For those who are unfamiliar, in typical Williamsburg fashion, Pete’s Candy Store was presumably, at one

I’m not sure if it’s because of all those terrible Brazilian restaurants in Midtown, but for some reason, whenever anyone mentions anything about going to a Brazilian restaurant, I’ll just assume it’s going to be incredibly meat-heavy, Pan-South American (as opposed to actually Brazilian), neon-lighted, and generally horrible.  UNTIL NOW.

I am perfectly aware that Pat Sajak can out charisma Alex Trebek by simply batting his eyes or trimming a hang nail, but I will always prefer Jeopardy to Wheel of Fortune. I have many reasons: Jeopardy attracts fewer over-zealous clappers and never feels like a prolonged IHOP, Centrum Silver

Award shows can be a very laboring affair to watch. The Emmys are pretty meh, the MTV awards are a fucking joke but sometimes people show up wearing pasties, and the Grammy’s are just another opportunity for my ears to be assaulted by the Black Eyed Peas. But everyone always

While growing up in The Bronx, my friend’s dad used to build rocket ships to launch off of buildings. And he used hamsters as pilots. While I will remain silent on my opinion of hamster misuse in the situation, I will say that my friend’s dad is now a physicist