San Francisco Examiner

25 Oct 2019

How to Behave in a Bar Like a Grown-Ass Person

This originally appeared in my Broke-Ass City column in the SF Examiner.   For many, bars are sacred spaces. People go to them to make memories, and to forget. They visit them to unwind, and get revved up. They hang out in them to catch up with old friends, and

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26 Nov 2018

Note to Tech Industry: Try Asking “Should We do This?”

This article originally appeared in my Broke-Ass City column for the the San Francisco Examiner A few weeks ago I ran into a friend who works at one of the companies creating driverless cars. “Oh man,” he told me, “this whole thing is happening way sooner than anyone thinks. Two

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12 Nov 2018

Seriously, Stop Putting TVs in Your Restaurants

OFF MENU IS SPONSORED BY EMPEROR NORTON’S BOOZELAND THE TENDERLOIN’S NEWEST HISTORIC DIVE.  HAPPY HOUR NOON – 7PM It’s one thing if you’re a burn-and-turn, counter-service burger place, where the most salient piece of décor is a Golden State Warriors poster. But if you’re an actual restaurant, with table service, where somebody put

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12 Oct 2018

Your Spirituality is Bullsh*t

This originally appeared in my Broke-Ass City column for the San Francisco Examiner. A couple minor changes have been made. A few years ago I was invited to a dinner party in San Francisco by a guy I’d known growing up in San Diego. I hadn’t seen him in years,

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17 Sep 2018

Stop Looking for Reasons to be Offended

This originally appeared in my Broke-Ass City column for the San Francisco Examiner. I’ve been doing this whole Broke-Ass Stuart thing for 13-and-a-half years. If my brand were a Jewish boy, his bar mitzvah would’ve been last summer. And I’m sure he would’ve done marvelously at his Torah portion. Thirteen

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27 Aug 2018

Maybe We Need to Rebrand Socialism

This originally appeared in my Broke-Ass City column for the San Francisco Examiner. I’m a Democratic socialist. I know some of you just sneered reading that sentence, which is totally justifiable because I’m sure you’re a billionaire and Democratic socialists want to raise your taxes. Oh, you’re not? Well, surely,

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20 Aug 2018

Your Cellphone Addiction is Making You Rude

This originally appeared in my Broke-Ass City column for the San Francisco Examiner As decades pass, etiquette evolves. Many things that were once thought of as rude or improper are eventually considered casual. Similarly, things that were once considered polite, can become old-fashioned or stuffy. There was a time when

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