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20 Signs You’re NOT a Jaded San Franciscan

Last week the fine people over at SFist published a piece called “41 Signs You’re  a Jaded San Franciscan“. It was funny,clever, and snarky, like so many things on SFist. But it got me thinking: one of the things that makes this city so amazing is that we’re not jaded. Despite all the fuckery that happens here (and there’s tons), we really do believe in the magic and mythology of San Francisco. You kind of have to suspend your disbelief to live here…for so many reasons. And so in response I’ve put together 20 Signs You’re NOT a Jaded San Franciscan.  I’ve only listed 20 reasons, and there are hundreds more, so please list some of yours in the comments.

1. When Deep rides by blaring music from his Trikeasaurus you smile and say to the stranger walking past you, “I fucking love San Francisco”.

deep-bicycle photo from Streetsblog

2. Like the rest of us, you have no idea what the 12 Galaxies are all about, but whenever you see Frank Chu it’s always a highlight of your day. (side note: every time I see him I say “Give ‘em hell Frank!” You should all do this too. IT should be a thing.)

frank_chuphoto from RentCafe.com

3. At some point during a warm, sunny day in Dolores Park with your friends you say, “There is no place else I’d rather be right now.”

robot-dance-party-dolores-park Photo from SF.Funcheap

4. You look forward to giving Hopper’s Hands high-five or high-ten when jogging near the Golden Gate Bridge.

hopper's-handsPhoto from LoveLetterToSF 

5. You actually get to jog near THE Golden Gate Bridge, one of the most famous landmarks in the world.

running-golden-gate-bridgephoto from Discovery 

6. The phrase “Only in San Francisco” can legitimize or delegitimize pretty much anything you come across on a given day.

Only in San Francisco from Andy Miller on Vimeo.

7. You’ve thought something along the lines of “I don’t want a relationship that gets in the way of my relationship with San Francisco”

breaking-up photo from Scoutmob.

8. Since so many of the people you love (friends, neighbors, coworkers) can’t legally marry the person they love, you’ve taken Marriage Equality on as a personal cause, regardless your gender preference.

> on March 25, 2013 in San Francisco, California.photo from CNN 

9. Even if you don’t give a fuck about baseball, you love the fact that the Giants are made up of a bunch of freaks and weirdos, just like our city.

brian-wilson-the-machinephoto from Comeback complete

10. You’re really hoping they actually rename SFO in honor of Harvey Milk. Who better to symbolize San Francisco’s values to those who are visiting our city?

SFO-Harvery-Milk photo from SF Gate

10. You’re really hoping they actually rename The Bay Bridge in honor of Emperor Norton. Who better to symbolize San Francisco’s values to those who are visiting our city?

emperor-norton-bridgephoto from Emperor Norton Bay Bridge 

11. “Who’s got it better than us?” is actually a question you’ve given some thought to. You still haven’t come up with an answer.

whos-got-it-better-than-usphoto from I So Love SF

 12. You revel in the fact that The City’s fog is named Karl and that he is a prolific tweeter and instagramer.

Karl-the-Fogphoto from Lost at E Minor 

13. While you won’t give money to homeless people, you will give them your leftovers if you don’t finish your meal when you’re out to eat.

replate-food-on-trash-canphoto from NeatoRama

14. It’s almost impossible to walk between two points without running into someone you know and giving them a hug.

san-francisco-hugphoto from SF Gate

15. You think The Bay Lights are cool as shit.

The Bay Lights and a Touch of Redphoto from AnywhereSF

16. You think the new Exploratorium is cool as shit.

the-exploratoriumphoto from CNN

17. You think stepping in human shit is not cool as shit. Ok, you’re pretty jaded about that one.

human-poopphoto from See Click Fix

18. The Giants have a Grateful Dead night. Even if you don’t like the Dead, that’s still pretty fucking cool. I mean, that’s the SF Giants basically celebrating LSD.

sf-giants-grateful-deadphoto from mlb.com

 19. You can smoke weed everywhere.

20. You rejoice in the fact that the only time you have to drive a car is when you leave San Francisco

driving-out-of-sfphoto from Hanna Winery 

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

I've been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle , "an SF cult hero": SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York, but to those familiar with my work, I'm just "that douchebag who writes books about cheap stuff and drinks a lot".