Santa Seen in Free Fall over San Francisco after Fiery Crash
An enormous explosion and firey streak were seen in the sky over San Francisco on Tuesday evening at approximately 5:40pm. The explosion and resulting clouds were so bright they were witnessed as far away as Southern California, and all the way to Lake Tahoe. Thousands of observers posted images and questions on social media.
— Bruno Solis (@brunosolis) December 20, 2018
Initially, many assumed they were seeing the planned spy satellite launch out of Vandenberg Airforce Base, but that launch was canceled last minute due to safety concerns. So what really happened?
Launch Alert: we have declared a scrub for today's launch of the #DeltaIVHeavy. We will set up for a 24 hour recycle and the next launch attempt will be 12/20 at 5:31pm PST.
— ULA (@ulalaunch) December 20, 2018
The National Weather Service Bay Area tried to claim that the blast was only a large meteor hitting earth’s atmosphere and the resulting ‘swirly’ cloud formation was caused by high altitude wind patterns, also known as a ‘Noctilucent Clouds’ formation (explained here). Then the Lick Observatory (located East of San Jose) attempted to explain the blast in a similar fashion. Once again blaming a meteor.
A bright meteor was visible in the skies over the Bay Area shortly after sunset this evening, leaving a bright trail…
But, Brokeassstuart.com, has now uncovered what really happened. By using the ‘zoom’ feature in Photoshop, you can clearly see Santa Clause in free fall underneath the explosion. It is as of yet unclear what caused the accident, but using our imaginations we deduced that Santa hit something on his sleigh during a pre-Christmas practice run, causing him to spiral out of control.
Sources in the Sunset District of San Francisco reported seeing a very angry Santa covered in soot walking up and down Ocean Beach on his cellphone. When questioned by observers, Kringle reportedly mumbled something about the soot being from a ‘chimney’, and ‘NOT’ from running into an Amazon drone blowing up his sleigh.