Study Shows Flat Earthers More Likely to Own Lazer Disc Players

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Mark Sargent, flat earther and star of Netfilx documentary ‘Beyond the Curve’

New Study shows flat earthers are 3000 times more likely to own and admire laser disc players than their ’round earth’ counterparts.  Flat earthers are also 6000 times more likely to tell you that Apple maps are the best mobile maps.  This study was conducted by someone with little to no scientific training, who has a strong belief that they are right despite what the world tells them.   They also have a mild aversion to authority figures, like their mother.

Mark Sargent is a prominent flat earther living with his mother in Washington State.  He has a strong, mouth-breathing following online, and stands proudly in defiance of modern opinions about a round earth. “Science is having a problem combatting what we are doing,” Sargent says in the Netflix documentary Behind the Curve, a doc all about flat earth believers.  The documentary goes into the lives and mental illnesses involved in science deniers.

The documentary also shows how the flat earthers spend an incredible amount of time and resources trying to prove their flat earth theories, while ironically, ignoring the data they collect that blatantly disproves their flat earth theories   Meanwhile, laserdiscs are objectively awesome, and there are no other audio/video models that are superior to laserdisc.

 

*This is satire…written to make you and the author laugh, although, I don’t know, maybe it’s not?  Maybe you’re just one of the sheeple?  Maybe it’s all true?

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Study Shows Flat Earthers More Likely to Own LaserDisc Players


Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managing editor here at Broke-Ass Stuart. I enjoy covering Bay Area News as well as writing about Arts, Culture & Nightlife.

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