Carrie Laven - Pretty Penniless

27 Jun 2012

The Weird Girl’s Guide to the Working World

My friend and I have this ongoing joke in which he always tells me that he’ll “never hire me for anything.”  Let me explain a little better.  I do the stupid/awkward/unlucky things that I always do– open a bag of Cheetos with a little too much force that causes them

Carrie Laven - Pretty Penniless 0
20 Jun 2012

Broke-Ass Fun: Become an Astrology-Obsessed Nutcase

At an art show the other day, I met a princely man in a pea green windbreaker,  tribal print backwards baseball hat, and turquoise necklace.  I knew that we would get along, and not just because he was channeling a nature walk-loving Will Smith circa Fresh Prince of Bel Air-slash-

Carrie Laven - Pretty Penniless 0
13 Jun 2012

Coming to Terms with Your Daddy Issues

Okay, actually, I mean my daddy issues.  And I don’t mean all of that psychological hoo-ha about abandonment and male authority figures or whatever.  I’m talking about having the hots for guys in khakis and Hawaiian shirts.  As soon as I see a strapping twentysomething in the same outfit that

Carrie Laven - Pretty Penniless 0
06 Jun 2012

Weddings: A Broke-Ass’s Dream Party

Recently, I had the honor of being a bridesmaid in my BFF Kate’s wedding to her longtime main squeeze, Jason.  Besides an awkward moment where the Mother-of-the-Bride looked down at me while I was adjusting Kate’s train and said, “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride!” (way to send shivers down

Carrie Laven - Pretty Penniless 0
02 May 2012

Broke-Ass Rant: If You’re Not Oprah, Then You Have Time To Hang Out

Like a lot of people my age who are trying to Make It Happen, I’ve kind of got a lot of shit going on right now.  I work a full-time job that I don’t love to pay the bills, work at an online fashion magazine after my office job everyday,

Carrie Laven - Pretty Penniless 0
25 Apr 2012

How to Be a Dancing Queen on a Budget

The answer to this question is easy:  smear on massive amounts of lipstick, back-comb your wig into voluminous perfection, climb up onto a table, and shake your thing because hips don’t lie, honey!  Oh, wait.  So you just want to learn how to dance like a pro, but don’t have

Carrie Laven - Pretty Penniless 0
18 Apr 2012

How to Celebrate a “Friend-a-Versary” (You Know, Like an Anniversary, Except with People You Don’t Smooch)

I’m a big ol’ fan of celebrations: parties, holidays, the “happy dance” that I perform in my room after I do my laundry and realize that I don’t have to wear ratty underpants anymore.  It doesn’t take much for me to throw my arms up in the air, and praise

Carrie Laven - Pretty Penniless 0