This is what I look like when I’m moving. Or, drunk. Or both. I haven’t written anything in a while because I have been moving. And maybe drunk? Perhaps a giggly combination of the two. But I’ve been happy, too, which always makes spilling my guts onto the internet a

Like most people that live in Portland right now, you’re probably thinking something along the lines of “the sky is grey, everything is grey, the choices I make get perpetually worse every year, my life is going nowhere, I want to die, is there someone available to take care of

Some dude who is probably leaving Portland after a one-year stand. Portland, my little city of dreams. I love you so much. Everyone claims to love you so much. Your dreary grey skies make for pretty poetry and days full of coffee and booze and strip clubs and cheap, delicious

So first off if you’re reading this, congratulations! You didn’t overdose or asphyxiate on your own vomit from partying this summer! That’s great and I’m sure your parents are proud. I hope you were right on the brink, though, and you got all the summering out of your system because look outside,

GRRRR! Let’s date! Portland is not famous for it’s “people who are committed to just sleeping with one dude or chick for a presumably extended period of time” rate, let alone the amount of successful marriages. Whether you’re hanging out with someone in their mid-30s who is struggling not to overdose on

So I moved to Portland last summer from San Francisco and, as you can tell from my previous posts, (A Scumbag’s Guide to Portland) I’m madly in love with it.

Hi GUYS! It’s been a second. Sorry about the delayed finale to this series, but I’ve been travelling/hungover most days in the past month and I just really didn’t feel like doling out recommendations to you because there’s a part of me that thinks maybe I should clean up my act and calm down and put a halt to this raucous, unstable, indulgent, satanic party of a lifestyle.