When I come home from whatever it is I do during the day, my roommate’s clumsy and rambunctious mutt, Yoda, faithfully greets me with an ear-shattering bark and two front paws jammed directly into my crotch. Living with a stinking and psychotically energetic dog, in a small apartment, is not

Since I’ve always been a broke-ass, I can only but assume the way the money-privileged make friends is to buy them. I have yet to have someone want to buy my friendship–which like my love–is for sale and I’m definitely looking for tips on how to make this happen. But,

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So you want some new friends.  Maybe you don’t have any yet because you just moved to the city.  Maybe you recently broke up with your girlfriend, who turned everyone you know against you (whore).  Or maybe you’re just kind of sick of the friends you’ve already got.  I mean,