satire

This Tenderloin Restaurant’s Food Is So Good I Broke Up With My Girlfriend
BY TOUTA BAHER I wanted to write about an Indian and Pakistani restaurant in the Tenderloin, but had a hard time deciding which one to focus on. There are so many delicious options within two blocks, but I decided to talk about Shalimar Restaurant, the place that inspired me to

Oakland’s Satirical News Source Back In Action
Bay Area humorists, rejoice: Oakland’s premier satirical news source is back. If you’ve lived here since circa 2012 (or, like me, you left and came back), you may remember Oakland Unseen. The satire specialist covered local controversies like Occupy Oakland, police brutality, and the annual unwashed tide of Burning Man

The 2023 SF Wine Passport is Here!
Step into a world of adventure with the 2023 SF Wine Passport! There’s no better way to explore San Francisco than to literally drink it in. You get 2-for-1 glasses of wine at 23 of SF’s finest locally owned bars and restaurants for only $39.95! It honestly doesn’t get much better than that. And after the

Satire: Waymo Officially Given License to Kill
Shortly before two o’clock last Friday, Waymo announced its autonomous vehicles now have license to kill. “We’re very excited for this innovative new technology to hit the streets,” said California Public Utilities Commission representative Sarah Desk, “and some people.” Cal-PUC granted Waymo a Pilotless Permit pearlier this month, marking any

Antidepressants: A Thank-You to My Drugs
BUPROPION (Wellbutrin), 300mg daily You’re such a slut but I like you that way. Everybody likes you that way. Magazines call you “the happy, skinny, sexy pill,” for that covetous sexual energy you bring back to the body. Why shouldn’t they? Like spring after winter you followed a fatty, flaccid

In Memoriam: Woman Dead of Grocery Shopping in SF [Satire]
Michelle Bates July 24, 1989 – March 4, 2022 Michelle Bates, an average person with no children, hobbies, or notable accomplishments, passed away peacefully last week in a San Francisco Safeway, with an old man ahead of her in line and Tide pods by her side. Michelle was a thirty-two-year-old

Self-Driving Cars Now Arguing About the Great Highway & JFK Drive
As San Francisco residents begin using the new Cruise self-driving car service, reports of strange robotaxi behavior are streaming into the SFMTA.

Last Gasp’s Ron Turner Publishes “Mind Candy for the Masses”
Last Gasp has been bending minds since 1970, and is known to be one of the world’s oldest and largest publishers of underground books and comics. The publisher’s motto is “Mind Candy for the Masses,” so consider it your counterculture dealer. Last Gasp is saluted for its ‘lowbrow’ comics and

Everything Now Joe Biden’s Fault
As the coronavirus surge continues and the outgoing Trump administration issues a flurry of controversial pardons to protect various administration players from the consequences of their numerous felonies, three out of four Americans agree: Everything is now Joe Biden’s fault. Before he even takes office, the former Vice President faces