satire

20 Jun 2019

Fast Food Chain Promises ‘Meatless Burger’ Will Still Cause Diarrhea

The famed ‘meatless’ burger has passed the testing stage and is now making its way into major fast food chains across America. Fast Food CEO and spokesperson Randy Hambuckler, reassured the press this week that, “although the meatless burger does not contain the fast food meat you’ve come to love,

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
11 Jun 2019

SF Woman is Completely Out of Hot Weather Clothes 4 days into Heat Wave

After several consecutive days of extremely hot weather in San Francisco, many SF residents are finding themselves completely out of warm weather outfits. “One or two hot days are fine, great even, but four days in a row!?”  Exclaimed SF resident Sara MacDougal, “The only clothing options I have left

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
01 Apr 2019

Salesforce to Paint Golden Gate Bridge Blue For Dreamforce Conference

Every September downtown San Francisco is completely overrun by Salesforce’s giant Dreamforce conference. Thousands of people come from around the world to do whatever it is that people do at Dreamforce, while the city’s already hellish traffic is made considerably worse by the closing down of streets near Moscone Center.

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
05 Feb 2019

Trump to Announce Canadian Border Wall to Keep Out Polar Vortex

“When Canada sends its weather, they’re not sending they’re best.  They’re not sending sunshine.  They’re sending weather that has lots of problems.  Their weather is bringing ice, it’s bringing snow, it’s raping people.  And some of it, I assume, is good weather.”

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
24 Jan 2019

Trump to Hire Fyre Festival Staff to Promote/Build Border Wall

“We’re going to get the models, and the sand, and build a beautiful wall in the desert…and Kanye is coming” – President Trump on his new border wall campaign A month into the government shutdown President Trump announced that the border wall between Mexico and USA was going to be built without the help

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
03 Dec 2018

SF City Hall Sold. Will become Condos and Corporate Offices.

Citizens of San Francisco received shocking news this weekend when it was announced that City Hall was sold to the Lennar Corporation and will become mixed use luxury condos and corporate offices. While we’ve seen the shuttering of countless cultural institutions over the past few years, the sale of City Hall

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
07 Nov 2018

Trump’s New Plan To Send Back The Irish

By Kelly O’Grady Amongst his platform for his 2020 reelection is President Trump’s plan to have all the Irish of American ancestry or otherwise rounded up and sent back to “Their tiny sad island, where I’m told they have golf courses that are of course not as nice as my

Guest Writer 0
24 Oct 2018

mySight: FInally, a tech solution to San Francisco’s homelessness problem

Guest post by Chad McDingleberry: Chief Visionary of mySight San Francisco, you’re far too beautiful for the depressing and uncomfortable blight of homelessness. Tents blocking the path of my scooter? Rude. Human feces on the street? Blech. Death and addiction at our doorsteps? Gross. People keep throwing ideas and solutions around that

Guest Writer 0