satire

22 Nov 2022

Satire: Waymo Officially Given License to Kill

Shortly before two o’clock last Friday, Waymo announced its autonomous vehicles now have license to kill.  “We’re very excited for this innovative new technology to hit the streets,” said California Public Utilities Commission representative Sarah Desk, “and some people.” Cal-PUC granted Waymo a Pilotless Permit pearlier this month, marking any

Jake Warren 0
22 Jun 2022

Antidepressants: A Thank-You to My Drugs

BUPROPION (Wellbutrin), 300mg daily You’re such a slut but I like you that way. Everybody likes you that way. Magazines call you “the happy, skinny, sexy pill,” for that covetous sexual energy you bring back to the body. Why shouldn’t they? Like spring after winter you followed a fatty, flaccid

Jake Warren 0
17 Jun 2022

The San Francisco Beer Passport is Here!

Step into a world of adventure with the San Francisco Beer Passport. There’s no better way to explore San Francisco than to literally drink it in. This passport is amazing! Each one contains 37 coupons to buy one beer, get a second beer FREE at 37 of the finest locally owned bars,

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
28 Mar 2022

In Memoriam: Woman Dead of Grocery Shopping in SF [Satire]

Michelle Bates July 24, 1989 – March 4, 2022 Michelle Bates, an average person with no children, hobbies, or notable accomplishments, passed away peacefully last week in a San Francisco Safeway, with an old man ahead of her in line and Tide pods by her side. Michelle was a thirty-two-year-old

Natalie Mead 0
11 Feb 2022

Self-Driving Cars Now Arguing About the Great Highway & JFK Drive

As San Francisco residents begin using the new Cruise self-driving car service, reports of strange robotaxi behavior are streaming into the SFMTA.

Natalie Mead 0
17 Nov 2021

Last Gasp’s Ron Turner Publishes “Mind Candy for the Masses”

Last Gasp has been bending minds since 1970, and is known to be one of the world’s oldest and largest publishers of underground books and comics. The publisher’s motto is “Mind Candy for the Masses,” so consider it your counterculture dealer. Last Gasp is saluted for its ‘lowbrow’ comics and

Lydia Sviatoslavsky 0
18 Jan 2021

Everything Now Joe Biden’s Fault

As the coronavirus surge continues and the outgoing Trump administration issues a flurry of controversial pardons to protect various administration players from the consequences of their numerous felonies, three out of four Americans agree: Everything is now Joe Biden’s fault. Before he even takes office, the former Vice President faces

Peter-Astrid Kane 0
19 Jan 2020

12 Sh*tty Behaviors to Conveniently Excuse With Astrology

by Laurie Riihimaki There’s no denying that we can all be shitty humans once in a while. Sometimes we lie about why we can’t make it to work.  Sometimes we cheat on our lovers with a hottie at a bar. Sometimes we steal a lipstick from a friend because NARS

Guest Writer 0
10 Jan 2020

New Store Opens in Oakland Completely Lambasting Consumerism

A very popular new store opened in Oakland this week, but the goods stocked on the shelves are not quite what you’d expect. Val-U-Mart is a new interactive art installation at Pro Arts Gallery offering a playful exploration of money, values, and consumerism. Seventy-five Bay Area artists came together to make

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0