satire

07 Oct 2019

Federal Judge Orders Trump to Untie Screaming Damsel From Train Tracks

A judge rejected the President’s argument that he was immune from “meddling do-gooders.” Monday, Oct 7 2019 – A federal Judge on Monday rejected a bold argument from President Trump that sitting Presidents are immune from investigations into their “dastardly deeds.”  Now, in addition to allowing the Manhattan District Attorney’s

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27 Sep 2019

Neighbors Install Homicidal Robots, Rusty Bear Traps to Deter Homeless

Inspired by the placement of two dozen boulders along both sides of Clinton Park, a quiet side street in the Mission, residents of nearby Landers Street have banded together to deter the presence of homeless encampments by placing a series of killer robots and rusty bear traps at irregular intervals.

Peter Lawrence Kane 0
26 Sep 2019

Global Warming Causes Electrical Fan Use to Increase by 9000% in San Francisco

In 1970 the average low for San Francisco was a little over 53 degrees across summer months. By 2018, that figure was up to a little over 56 degrees.  “56 degrees at night in San Francisco is already untenable,” said a local San Franciscan, “But 80 degrees?!  We’re not equipped

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
26 Sep 2019

E-cigarette Executive Claims Only Side-Effect of ‘Vaping’ is looking like a ‘Douche bag’

“we did extensive testing, and the only measurable side effect of vaping, was a significant increase of douche levels in individuals.”

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
20 Aug 2019

Trump Hotel to Open at Burning Man

Great news for luxury festivalgoers this year at Burning Man, the newest, hottest glamping experience on the playa is at Trump Hotel Black Rock City.  With the most exceptional views the playa has to offer, Trump International Burning Man Hotel & Putting Green is a sophisticated, exclusive, immersive experience that

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
27 Jun 2019

All Debate Candidates Receive ‘Participation Trophy’ from Chuck Todd

The first of two Democratic Presidential Candidate Debates were held in Miami Wednesday evening.  Ten presidential hopefuls covered everything from healthcare reform to the economy in various, 30-second soundbites.  At center stage stood Sen. Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts, she was the highest polling candidate of the evening and NBC moderators

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
20 Jun 2019

Fast Food Chain Promises ‘Meatless Burger’ Will Still Cause Diarrhea

The famed ‘meatless’ burger has passed the testing stage and is now making its way into major fast food chains across America. Fast Food CEO and spokesperson Randy Hambuckler, reassured the press this week that, “although the meatless burger does not contain the fast food meat you’ve come to love,

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0
11 Jun 2019

SF Woman is Completely Out of Hot Weather Clothes 4 days into Heat Wave

After several consecutive days of extremely hot weather aka heat wave in San Francisco, many SF residents are finding themselves completely out of warm weather outfits. “One or two hot days are fine, great even, but four days in a row!?”  Exclaimed SF resident Sara MacDougal, “The only clothing options

Alex Mak - Managing Editor 0