satire

18 Jan 2021

Everything Now Joe Biden’s Fault

As the coronavirus surge continues and the outgoing Trump administration issues a flurry of controversial pardons to protect various administration players from the consequences of their numerous felonies, three out of four Americans agree: Everything is now Joe Biden’s fault. Before he even takes office, the former Vice President faces

Peter-Astrid Kane 0
19 Jan 2020

12 Sh*tty Behaviors to Conveniently Excuse With Astrology

by Laurie Riihimaki There’s no denying that we can all be shitty humans once in a while. Sometimes we lie about why we can’t make it to work.  Sometimes we cheat on our lovers with a hottie at a bar. Sometimes we steal a lipstick from a friend because NARS

Guest Writer 0
12 Apr 2021

BAS is Looking for a New Arts & Events Editor

Broke-Ass Stuart has been at the center of the events and arts scene in the Bay Area for over 15 years. And right now we are looking to bring on a new editor to focus on events as the world begins to open back up. This is a cool opportunity since events will be taking

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
10 Jan 2020

New Store Opens in Oakland Completely Lambasting Consumerism

A very popular new store opened in Oakland this week, but the goods stocked on the shelves are not quite what you’d expect. Val-U-Mart is a new interactive art installation at Pro Arts Gallery offering a playful exploration of money, values, and consumerism. Seventy-five Bay Area artists came together to make

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
20 Dec 2019

Jesus Opens Up About his Struggles with Mental Illness After Supporting Trump

After millennia in the public eye, Son of God and Savior of Mankind Jesus Christ has begun to speak candidly about his struggles with managing addiction and Bipolar Disorder. “I’ve avoided this long enough,” the member of the Holy Trinity stated while levitating in a beam of golden light. “I

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02 Dec 2019

The Best Waterproof Mascaras for Constantly Crying Seasonal Depressives

by Laurie Riihimaki ‘Tis the season for holiday cheer, or should I say tears? For some, this time of year can be heavy with seasonal depression brought on by toxic family get-togethers, dreaded semester finals, literally darker days, and holiday weight brought on by grandma’s famous pecan pie and mac

Guest Writer 0
25 Nov 2019

Customs Officials Confiscating All Trump Piñatas So Trump Can “Keep Them For Himself”

If you’ve noticed a lack of Donald Trump piñatas on Mission Street lately, there’s a reason for it: the Acting Commissioner of U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) has directed all his agents to confiscate them at the border. In an interview with BAS, Acting Commissioner Mark A. Morgan said, “The order

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
20 Nov 2019

Guy You Met One Time Three Years Ago Invites You To Weird Facebook Event

by Ben Mangelsdorf Facebook user Keith Lightbringer, real name Keith Edwards, sent shockwaves through your Facebook feed Saturday evening by sending you an invite to an event called “AntAlien Presents: Cathedralasis / EGGTEEN.”  Lightbringer, who you think you met at a 70s-themed party that a Tinder date brought you to

Guest Writer 0
13 Nov 2019

Explosive Leaked Emails Reveal Stephen Miller is Bald

While it has already been reported that in the run-up to the 2016 election, leaked emails indicate that Stephen Miller promoted white nationalist literature, boosted racist immigration stories, and obsessed over the loss of confederate symbols – further investigation has revealed an ACTUALLY surprising detail about the White House Senior

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