Like most people that live in Portland right now, you’re probably thinking something along the lines of “the sky is grey, everything is grey, the choices I make get perpetually worse every year, my life is going nowhere, I want to die, is there someone available to take care of

Like many San Franciscans, I am exceptionally poor. As in I’m on Food Stamps poor. As in I had to ask the cashier to void my transaction when I found out Carl’s Jr. couldn’t accept my Food Stamps poor, which was awkward for both me and my date (to be

As 2024 winds down, we’re reflecting on another incredible year of sharing the stories, art, culture, and nightlife that make the Bay Area so unique. BrokeAssStuart.com wouldn’t be what it is without you—our community of readers, supporters, and believers in independent media. This year, instead of asking you to join Patreon

The holidays are a time where people congregate to their hometowns, reminisce of days past and look for a cozy alternative to an electric blanket (or is that just me?). Feelings of romance resurface and we’re faced with the big decision: to backslide or not to backslide? In case you’re

It’s Fall! Winter’s sneaky little sidekick is creeping up on us quickly.  As I write this you may be chopping down a bundle of firewood to get you through the upcoming frozen hell of whatever place you live in. Fall hasn’t reached California yet. We are still blessed with jacket-optional

Having impromptu sex or sex in an unexpected location: what’s not to like?  It gets your adrenaline going and your oxytocin levels are flying every which way!  Well, guys, it’s all fun and games until someone gets cum in their eye.  IT BURNS!  Just kidding, blowjobs are for suckers.  LITERALLY! 

Audacia Ray is the founder and director of the Red Umbrella Project (RedUP), former executive editor of Spread Magazine and a former sex worker. Yes, Audacia Ray is one many people in this world that have used their assets to make a living. And within the last decade she has

This was Chris and Chris’s Christmas Card one year I’ve known Chris Nieratko for like five years now. I first met him when my friend Sarah was working over at VICE in Brooklyn, and had to arrange his west coast book-signing tour for his then newly-released smut novel, SKINEMA (then a

                                                                            For a good time, call… Tax forms, the New York Times crossword, Rubik’s