trump

20 Dec 2019

Jesus Opens Up About his Struggles with Mental Illness After Supporting Trump

After millennia in the public eye, Son of God and Savior of Mankind Jesus Christ has begun to speak candidly about his struggles with managing addiction and Bipolar Disorder. “I’ve avoided this long enough,” the member of the Holy Trinity stated while levitating in a beam of golden light. “I

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18 Dec 2019

It Says Something When the Wealthy Turn On Trump Too

Political protests are often associated with youth, but across the Bay Area Tuesday night we saw a large presence of people well beyond the age of 50. One particular rally in Walnut Creek provided an interesting perspective on how age and economic status play into this whole impeachment thing. Hint:

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18 Dec 2019

‘Twas the Night Before Impeachment…

Guest poem by Mustafa K. ‘Twas the night before impeachment when all through the White House, A creature was tweeting with no whereabouts of his spouse. He desperately penned a letter to the Madam Speaker, In foolish hope it’d make her pursuits weaker. The Democrats were nestled all snug in

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11 Dec 2019

Demanding Trump’s Removal Is the Only Patriotic Choice

You can believe the current president is the best to ever hold that office. You can like his policies and truly believe he has your best interest at heart. Yet, you can still support his impeachment and removal from office. And you should. This is a pivotal moment in history, one

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05 Dec 2019

Say Whatever the F*** You Want About Barron Trump

Constitutional Law expert Pamela Karlan spoke to the House Judiciary Committee’s first impeachment-related hearing yesterday. Since then, the country has been thrown into frenzied discussion over her remarks regarding the conduct of the President: Everything I know about our Constitution and its values, and my review of the evidentiary record,

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25 Nov 2019

Customs Officials Confiscating All Trump Piñatas So Trump Can “Keep Them For Himself”

If you’ve noticed a lack of Donald Trump piñatas on Mission Street lately, there’s a reason for it: the Acting Commissioner of U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) has directed all his agents to confiscate them at the border. In an interview with BAS, Acting Commissioner Mark A. Morgan said, “The order

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap 0
19 Nov 2019

As Impeachment Proceedings Continue, Some Suggestions for The GOP

by Willem Frankenfort Impeachment proceedings have officially begun. From now on I will celebrate November 13th as Impeachment Day, Novemberteenth if you will. If the rest of the testimony is even half as damning as what we’ve already seen, we may yet wave goodbye to that syphilitic walrus we call

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13 Nov 2019

Explosive Leaked Emails Reveal Stephen Miller is Bald

While it has already been reported that in the run-up to the 2016 election, leaked emails indicate that Stephen Miller promoted white nationalist literature, boosted racist immigration stories, and obsessed over the loss of confederate symbols – further investigation has revealed an ACTUALLY surprising detail about the White House Senior

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