With all the dating apps and services these days, it’s never been easier to get connected with hot tech bros in San Francisco.  But if you want to do it the old-fashioned way, where you go outside into public and talk to actual people, then this is the listicle for you.  Stuart and I put our heads together and found all the hotspots in San Francisco to pick-up the hottest bros in tech!

In Your Old Apartment

If you really want to find tech bros in San Francisco, the best place to start looking is probably in your apartment.  Well technically, it WAS your apartment.  But a ‘Marketing Exec’ named Chad now lives there.  He says “sup,” a lot and was willing to pay your landlord $6000 more a month in rent.  He works for a hot new app company that pairs property developers with top executives in ‘hip, urban, environments.”

Bar None

If you’re looking for Dartmouth graduates with matching  Kappa Kappa Kappa (ΚΚΚ) tattoos, this bar is the best place ‘Bar None’! An amazing drinking game hangout in the Marina District!  They are known for front-end developers, ping pong, and not wearing protection during sex.  Go get-em!

Wayfare Tavern

Photo: wayfaretavern.com

It’s become harder and harder to tell the difference between finance guys and tech guys in San Francisco, the biggest difference used to be that techies had no idea how to dress, and the finance guys just paid someone with style to dress them.  Wayfare Tavern has a nice mix of both, with a much more mature, “I am a finance guy, but I mostly invest in tech” vibe.  If you’re looking for old-school ‘Fintech’ bros (aged +50) this is your hangout.

Dolores Park

Dolores Park used to be known for a diverse, funky, musically minded crowd, but now it’s a hotbed of tech t-shirts, tourists, and cornhole!  You can spot the hot tech bros by their corporate team t-shirts and boat shoes. Very cool.

At Your Favorite Brunch Place

If you’re looking for a bro who thinks the Apple Watch is a fashion statement and hires poor people to stand in line for him via task rabbit…then the sf brunch line is the place for you to meet dudes.  Literally, any of your favorite brunch places in SF will work now.

Novela

Novela –  Where books are strictly used as decoration and the menu is never printed on paper, but displayed on a flat screen tv instead!  It’s writer themed bar in SoMa, that no writer can afford to drink at!  Tech bros can though, sick!

Soul Cycle SoMa

Known especially for having tech bros who work in marketing and for some reason wear winter hats while ‘soul-cycling’.  Dope.

The Battery

Nothing says ‘sweet bro!’ more than a members-only club built with tech money.  If you’re looking for boys who love to ‘talk shop’ and name drop, this is the spot for your you.  Everyone there is super excited to tell you about their company, in fact, the networking and synergy are ‘fucking worth every penny bro!’

Wanna do your best to attract Tech Bros? Or at least make fun of them? Then get some of our “Tech Company” gear (the hard nipples you see below are not included).