Why The “Doom Loop” Isn’t Real.

Hey, I’m not sure if you know this, but Downtown San Francisco is struggling. I know, this is news that is entirely new. This isn’t a horse that has been beaten to death by every struggling media agency on the planet in a desperate attempt to get a few clicks before they’re completely rendered irrelevant by the eventual passing of the boomer generation. 

Hey, did you hear about Whole Foods? Wow. What a shock. Turns out the unhoused aren’t lining up in droves to buy kale. I know. I was thinking the same thing. If you can’t sell kale in an extremely low income neighborhood, your city is fucking doomed. That makes a ton of sense and isn’t at all fucking stupid. 

The most recent closure that people are pointing to as a sign of San Francisco’s fall from grace is the closure of the Westfield Mall. But malls all over the United States have been closing for over a decade. So, who gives a fuck? Are malls closing the death of the suburbs? If so, why is no one writing about it? Was the death of the Hilltop Mall not proof Contra Costa County is doomed? A few startups went belly up. Is Silicon Valley finished? A movie did poorly in the box office? Well, that means LA is over. You ate pizza and it wasn’t good? New York is fucking Detroit.

Do you see how silly this is?

America is obsessed with the demise of San Francisco. I’m pretty sure “San Francisco doom loop” is among the most searched subjects on PornHub at this point. 

Media organizations have unfortunately figured this out and have been pumping out vitriol that seems determined to turn San Francisco into some kind of coastal tech Detroit.  Which, in my opinion, is unfair to Oakland – the ACTUAL coastal Detroit. San Francisco has stolen pretty much everything from Oakland, now it’s trying to steal bad press. Chill the fuck out, SF. You already got The Warriors. 

San Francisco’s problems aren’t unique. Boom and bust cycles are inherently a part of a capitalist society and cities rise and fall as market conditions change. San Francisco bet big on tech, and in the short team it paid off. It didn’t pay off for most normal people, but it paid off for the people it was designed to work for. A lot of people made a lot of money. You and I didn’t, but I assure you, a lot of people were living their best lives in San Francisco. Now they’re in Austin, Texas doing it all over again. 

Despite the “doom loop” there is a lot to be optimistic about in San Francisco. All that abandoned office space could very well be turned into housing which would exponentially increase San Francisco’s notoriously low housing supply. Downtown is going through a rough patch and businesses closing is a sign for concern, but I know that this is a transitional period. 

The only true doom loop is the one that legacy media finds itself in. No one really gives a fuck what CNN or Fox news has to say about anything except for an audience that is literally dying off. In order to stay relevant, the news needs hyper-sensationalized stories to generate interest. San Francisco is just another place to prophesize the apocalypse, until a newer, sexier apocalypse manifests for them to endless drone on about. There’s no such thing as a “Doom Loop.” Booms and busts happen. 

If you like San Francisco, stay there. Fuck the media’s opinion. Are you really going to let the same people that told you the Iraq War was a good idea convince you that a city you love sucks? And if you don’t like San Francisco or feel that the City isn’t for you, move. There’s nothing wrong with leaving San Francisco. Do what makes you happy.

But whatever you do, don’t come to the East Bay. We’re full. 

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