Ali Wong Closes Out 2023 at The Masonic

Saturday, 12/23 – Ali Wong Live

San Francisco’s own Ali Wong is in the middle of a hilarious eight show run at The Masonic. Limited tickets are still available for the comedian’s final two shows this Saturday, December 23rd at 5pm & 8pm, get your tickets now!

Aggression Cookies Recipe

By Vanessa Gil, Arts & Events Editor

This time of year, I like to watch “While You Were Sleeping” while baking my Grandma June’s “aggression cookies” for friends and neighbors to enjoy. The recipe makes a LOT and I thought I’d share with you…

3 cups firmly packed brown sugar

3 cups softened butter

6 cups oatmeal (uncooked)

3 cups flour

1 tbsp baking soda

Mix all ingredients by hand (release that “aggression”!). Form into balls the size of walnuts. Place on ungreased baking sheet. Butter the bottom of a glass, dip it in granulated sugar and press the cookie balls down slightly. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes. Allow to cool to firm up. Now that we’ve got a snack going, here’s what I’m most excited about for the week of 12/19…

Put a little Broke-Ass in Your Stocking

When you do your holiday shopping on the BAS shop, not only are you getting something awesome, you’re also helping independent journalism survive. It’s a double mitzvah! Check out all our rad merch right here.

Partners’ Events

Roast Battle Bay Area12/21 | Cobb’s Comedy Club | 915 Columbus Ave., SF | 7:30 p.m. | $23.30 – $33.05, 18+

Two comedians square off in a competition of joke writing to see who can come up with the funniest and most creative verbal insults. They make their case for victory to our panel of judges featuring the best comedian and roast battlers from all over the country!

This Week’s Events

Tuesday, 12/19

San Francisco Ballet Presents: The Nutcracker12/19-12/30 | War Memorial Opera House | 301 Van Ness Ave, SF | 11 a.m. & 7 p.m. | $59-$398

Experience the magical winter wonderland of toy soldiers, King of the Mice, Sugar Plum Fairy, and so much more. This dazzling production is a kaleidoscope of over 150 dancers accompanied by the SF Ballet Orchestra performing Tchaikovsky’s beloved score.

Head Games Trivia Night @ The Hop Grenade12/19 | The Hop Grenade | 2151 Salvio St Suite J, Concord | 7 p.m. | Free

Live multi-media trivia every Tuesday night. Free to play, win prizes!

A Dead Miscellany: A Scholarly and Music Celebration of The Grateful Dead12/19 | The Lost Church | 988 Columbus Ave, SF | 7 p.m. Doors | $15

Join John Brackett, Michael Kaler, with David Gans and the Broken Angels as they celebrate the Grateful Dead through an evening of discussion and music.

Wednesday, 12/20

Holidays with the SF Symphony: A Charlie Brown Christmas Live 12/20 – 12/23 | Davies Symphony Hall | 201 Van Ness Ave, SF | 7:30 p.m. | $29.50-$300

With live actors, an animated backdrop, and Vince Guaraldi’s timeless music performed live by the SF Symphony, this is a beloved holiday performance you won’t want to miss.

Joey Avery12/20 | San Jose Improv | 62 S Second St, San Jose | 8 p.m. | $25

After starting his career in Cape Town, South Africa Joey Avery made a name for himself in the Bay Area comedy scene quickly earning recognition in the SF Chronicle as one of San Francisco’s Comics on the Rise.

Matt Rogers: Have You Heard of Christmas? Album Tour12/20 | Castro Theare | 429 Castro St, SF | 6 p.m. Doors | $35 – $45

Named one of Variety’s “10 Comics to Watch,” Matt Rogers is a multi-hyphenate creative on the rise with undeniable talent and charm.

Thursday, 12/21

Holidays with the Symphony: Holiday Brass12/21 | Davies Symphony Hall | 201 Van Ness Ave, SF | 7:30 p.m. | $25 – $175

Feel the power and precision of the SF Symphony brass section as they fill Davies Symphony Hall with a festive mix of classical and popular holiday favorites.

Carol12/21 | Roxie Theater | 3117 16th St, SF | 6:30 p.m. | $14

One of my favorite holiday films! The story of a forbidden love affair that makes no apology for always offering up exquisitely observed minutiae from the early 1950s.

Derek Hough – Symphony of Dance12/21 | San Jose Center for the Performing Arts | 255 S Almaden Blvd, San Jose | 8 p.m. | $45 – $99.50

From the Emmy Award-winning mind of Derek Hough, the show features all new high-energy choreography, stunning stage production, astounding versatility and, as always, Derek’s magnetic stage presence.

Smoke DZA12/21 | Brick & Mortar | 1710 Mission Street, SF | 8 p.m. | $20/advance – $25/DOS, $75 VIP

With all of the disposable music threatening the culture of an art form he is trying to help preserve, Smoke DZA is a welcomed breath of fresh air that will make you grateful for the contact high.

Friday, 12/22

Club Mona12/22 | Oasis | 298 11th St, SF | 10 p.m. | $10

This month, join us for a very special, very sexy crossover! CLUB MONA x VAMP, a queer dance party for queer & trans night dwellers.

The Emo Night Tour: San Francisco12/22 | The Independent | 628 Divisadero St., SF | 9 p.m. | $16 – $25

The Emo Night DJ’s will be spinning all the angst your teenage dirtbag heart desires all night long and a special guest band will bring you emo covers that will make you feel like you’re at Warped Tour ‘08 minus all the dust and melting in the sun!

Oakland Winter Ball 202312/22 | Crybaby | 1928 Telegraph Ave, Oakland | 10 p.m. | $10-$50A special holiday party with all DJs Drew Banga, Sean G, Shellheart, Climaxxx!

Tinseltown: The Christmas Speakeasy12/22-12/30 | Storek – A Non Plus Ultra Venue | 149 9th St, SF | 5:30 p.m. | $22

Tinseltown is all about celebrating Christmas so you can expect Santa’s elves, tinsel, festive tunes and lots of winter warmer drinks, including a fabulous custom-created Christmas cocktail menu!

Potted Potter12/22-1/7 | Palace of Fine Arts | 3301 Lyon Street, SF | 7:30 p.m. | $39.99-$99.99

Potted Potter takes on the ultimate challenge of condensing all seven Harry Potter books (and a real-life game of Quidditch) into seventy hilarious minutes. Even if you don’t know the difference between a Horcrux and a Hufflepuff, Potted Potter will make you roar with laughter.

Saturday, 12/23

Brian Copeland’s The Jewelry Box – SF12/23 | The Marsh – SF | 1062 Valencia St, SF | 5 p.m. | $28.00 – $103.00

In this hilariously heartwarming story, a prequel to Copeland’s hit solo show Not a Genuine Black Man, a young Brian heads to the “mean streets” of Oakland to buy his mom a Christmas present. When he finds the perfect gift – a jewelry box in the White Front store – six-year-old Brian sets out to earn the required $11.97 by Christmas Eve.

31st Annual Kung Pao Kosher Comedy: Jewish Comedy on Christmas in a Chinese Restaurant12/23-12/25 | Imperial Palace Restaurant | 818 Washington St., SF | 5p.m. | $30-$100

Kung Pao Kosher Comedy returns to its pre-pandemic format over the course of 3 days, with 2 shows a day in a Chinese restaurant banquet room with family-style dining at tables of 10 with Lazy Susans.

BONG-O BINGO’s Dankmas Celebration12/23 | Mission Cannabis Club | 2441 Mission St, SF | 6 p.m. | $15/Door + $10/min purchase

Join your jolly hosts DJ Dank, Thee Pristine Condition and Brandelicious for a night of drag performances, bingo, mocktails, smokeables and cannabis prizes with every round.

Fugly Sweater Party12/23 | The Lone Star Saloon | 1354 Harrison St, SF | 9 p.m. | Free Entry With Ugly Sweater

This might be your last chance to wear your Fugly Christmas Sweater for 2023, so make the most of it!! Wear it however you want, crop top it, light it up, or maybe your Fugly Sweater identifies as a onesie just do it your way.

More Fatter12/23 | The Independent | 628 Divisadero St, SF | 9 p.m. | $20/adv, $25/door

Forging pop, soul, and rock music into an irresistible sound, the four piece funk buddies chart their own course through an oasis of groove.

Sunday, 12/24

It’s a Wonderful Life12/4 | Alamo Drafthouse | 2550 Mission St., SF | 11:15 a.m. | $13.75

Take a break from the hustle and bustle of the holidays, bring someone you love, and spend a couple of hours feeling grateful for the wonderful things in your life.

Freakyoke Karaoke12/24 | Thee Stork Club | 2330 Telegraph Ave, Oakland | 8 p.m. | Free

Karaoke Sundays at Thee Stork Club. If the song’s on YouTube, they have it!

Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir12/24 | Great American Music Hall l| 859 O’Farrell St, SF | 7 p.m. / 9:30 p.m. | $22 – $25

The Oakland Interfaith Gospel Choir weaves together a family of more than 55 singers from a wide range of faiths, races, and cultures– joined in the mission to inspire joy and unity in all people through Negro spirituals and black gospel music.

Monday, 12/25

Death Guild X-Mess12/25 | DNA Lounge | 375 11th St, SF | 9 p.m. | $8

Every Monday, six DJs in two rooms play a mix of gothic, industrial, synthpop, noise, ambient, and weird stuff for those who love the darker side of things… Merry X-Mess!

Christmas 2023 at That F***in Bar12/25 | The F***in Bar | 312 Harriet St, SF | 12 p.m. | Free

This Christmas, join us at 312 Harriet St for our unconventional festivities! We may not have the traditional holiday fare, but we promise a lively atmosphere, delicious drinks, and hearty food that will have you making new holiday memories.

The 37th Annual Holiday Adoption Windows12/25-12/31 | Macy’s Union Square | 170 O’Farrell St, SF | 12 pm. | Free

This beloved San Francisco holiday tradition is back again bringing smiles and stealing hearts this season. Our adoptable puppies and kittens are ready to find their forever homes as they romp and play in the windows.