Love Yourself

by Vanessa Gil, Arts & Events Editor

It’s Valentine’s week. Whether your coupled up or single, remember to show some love to the person you have to spend forever with, you. Do something you love to do solo. Read, journal, make your own Valentine’s Day basket filled with your favorite things. In the words of Atmosphere, “Gotta love myself so I can love you right, right?” I hope your week is filled with love of all varieties and so much fun! Here’s what I’m most excited about for the week of 2/13…

A Dildo Shaped Like Coit Tower

For anyone who’s ever said “Fuck San Francisco”, now you can! This is not a joke! We really made a 100% body safe, platinum-cure, silicone dildo in the shape of Coit Tower, and named it “Coitus Tower”. AND there’s even a vibrator option now! Get yours right here.

Our Partner’s Events

Hubba Hubba Revue: TemptASIAN!
2/18 | DNA Lounge | 375 11th St, SF | 7 p.m. | $20-$35, 18+

Kick off your Lunar New Year at an all-star, all-Asian, burlesque spectacular, with aerialists, acrobats, local legends, international superstars, and special guests from New York and San Diego!

Duane Linklater Exhibition at BAMPFA
Now-2/25 | Berkeley Art Museum and Pacific Film Archive | 2155 Center St, Berkeley | 11 a.m. | $14

Don’t miss the final weeks of the nationally-acclaimed exhibition of Omaskêko Cree artist Duane Linklater, whose work interrogates the construct of museums, their conventions, and their historical exclusion of Indigenous people and content. Closing events include poetry readings, tours, and a film screening with a live performance of an original score by Duane and Tobias Linklater.

After Dark: Sexplorations
2/15 | Exploratorium | Pier 15 Embarcadero @ Green St, SF | 6 p.m. | $19.95, 18+

Looking for a hot night out on the town? Leave the kids at home, slip into something comfortable and take an intimate look at sex. From the lengths we’ll go to for sex to the mating rituals of insects to the naughty bits of flowers, learn about the varied and creative ways in which the natural world gets it on.

This Week’s Events

Tuesday, 2/13

Dropkick Murphys & Pennywise
2/13 | San Jose Civic | 135 W San Carlos St, San Jose | 7 p.m. | $49.50-$59.50
A  legendary night with the Dropkick Murphys AND Pennywise!

Oakland Mardi Gras Party w/ Mj’s Brass Boppers & Dj Platurn
2/13 | The New Parish | 1743 San Pablo Ave, Oakland | 9 p.m. | $20

Come out for our MARDI GRAS Party at The New Parish! Experience the infectious beats of MJ’s Brass Boppers, an authentic New Orleans singing and swinging Second Line brass band fusing traditional NOLA standards, funk, jazz, modern pop & more with a second line twist!

So This Sucks: A Night of Heartbreak & Disappointment
2/13 | The Gateway Theatre | 215 Jackson St, SF | 7:30 p.m. | $20-$25

From the creators of About Last Night – San Francisco’s favorite one night stand storytelling series comes our annual Valentine’s day show: SO THIS SUCKS. Come listen to true tales of heartbreak and disappointment as a handful of very brave storytellers take to the stage to bare all- sharing their most humorous and horrifying breakup tales.

Wednesday, 2/14

Anti-Valentine’s Day 80s Power Ballad Sing-Along
2/14 | Roxie Theater |  3117 16th St, SF | 9 p.m. | $17

Fortunately, for those of us who can’t stand Valentine’s Day, there is an entire genre of music made just for our pain, AND it just happens to also be the most badass music ever: 80s POWER BALLADS. We’ll sing, we’ll hold lighters in the air and sway, we’ll pound our fists at the sky!

You Otter Be My Valentine
2/14 | Aquarium of the Bay |  PIER 39 The Embarcadero &, Beach St, SF | 7 p.m. | $35-$50, 18+

Whether you’re in a relationship, single, or somewhere in the middle, there is something for everyone to do. This event includes a fun evening of live music by DJ Tex, Tony’s Pizza, dessert stations, drinks, animals talks, & more!

Beer Buddies Speed Mingling
2/14 | 21st Amendment Brewery – San Leandro | 2010 Williams St, San Leandro | 5 p.m. | $15

Similar to speed dating, our speed mingling allows you to quickly meet a slew of new buddies: Spend 5 minutes getting to know each participant. Fill out score cards letting our team know which buddies you vibed best with. After the speed rounds are up, you’ll get to mingle some more while playing cornhole, drinking beer, ordering food, and of course, snacking on some delicious TCHO Chocolate!

SQREAM
2/14-3/23 | Oasis | 298 11th St, SF | 6:30 p.m. | $45-$95

SQREAM is a drag horror parody set to all your favorite hit songs of the 1990s. Join the gang as they navigate a super queer whodunnit musical. A night of singing, dancing, blood-drenched comedy that’s as campy, sexy, & gory as your millennial adolescence. They’re ready to slay… are you?

Kisses and Tickles w/ Lachlan Patterson
2/14-2/17 | The Punch Line SF | 444 Battery St, SF | 8 p.m. | $25.25-$35.25

Mixing a dry sarcasm with his biting commentary on life, Lachlan Patterson has achieved major success as a stand-up comedian, writer, and comedic actor.

Thursday, 2/15

J Boog
2/15 & 2/16 | The UC Theatre | 2036 University Ave, Berkeley | 8 p.m. | $37.50-$510

Born and raised on the West Coast and influenced heavily by his Polynesian upbringing, J Boog is undoubtedly one of the top reggae singers in recent years.

Books ‘n Brews
2/15 | 21st Amendment Brewery – San Leandro | 2010 Williams St, San Leandro | 5 p.m. | Free

Hanging out with a good book & a good brew is one of life’s great pleasures. We’ve partnered up with the San Leandro Public Library to bring you the 21A Books n’ Brews Club! Get signed up for a library card with the help of the fantastic library staff. This library card will not only get you $2 off your pint, it’ll open up an entire world!

Tag Team Comedy with Myles Weber
2/17 | Cobb’s Comedy Club | 915 Columbus Ave, SF | 7:30 p.m. | $18.25-$26.25

Myles Weber is a comedian on the rise. He handily took first place in the 40th Annual San Francisco International Comedy Compitition. Weber was the second youngest to win the competition and one of only two comics to ever sweep the whole thing.

Thursday After Hours at OMCA | AshEL Seasunz & Rocker T Performance
2/17 | Oakland Museum of California | 1000 Oak St, Oakland | 5 p.m. | $19

Don’t miss a pop-up performance by AshEl Seasunz & Rocker T featuring frequencies, mantras, and songs from various ancient traditions in the Gallery of California Art and delectable bites at Town Fare.

Friday, 2/16

So Sweet & Create Magic Presents: Galentine’s
2/16 | Public Works | 161 Erie St, SF | 9 p.m. | $10-$15, 21+

Bay Area party outfits So Sweet and Create Magic host a night to recognize and inspire beautiful, badass feminine energy. Highlighting and collaborating with local musical and artistic talent, we will harness the fun, feisty, whimsy of gal power ! Let’s celebrate each other, create safe space and have a great time!

Galactic
2/16 & 2/17 | The Fillmore | 1805 Geary Blvd, SF | 8 p.m. | $59

History doesn’t stand still. It impacts, influences, and inspires the ebb and flow of the future by informing the present. Galactic draws on 25 years together in order to progress with each performance and subsequent record.

Dark Love: Valentine’s Circus Variety Show + Party
2/16 & 2/17 | Flux Vertical Theatre |  811 University Ave, Berkeley | 7 p.m. | $35-$350

The night kicks off with a decadent live art installation & tantalizing ambient bondage performance. Our main show features Valentines’ themed aerial acrobatics, speciality acts, pole, chair, sideshow, burlesque & suspension performances. Post show presents the opportunity to dance & mingle with the cast in a sultry dance party.

A Bay Area Love Story: Slushii w/ Special Guests MVSE, NESZLO +more
2/16 | The Midway | 900 Marin St, SF | 8 p.m. | $28.50-$49.50, 21+

Our first annual Valentine’s day festival featuring Slushii, MVSE, NESZLO and more at The Midway. Bring your crush or ex for 7 DJ sets, exclusive Valentine’s day themed merch, and more.

Gimme Gimme Disco: A Dance Party Inspired by ABBA
2/16 | Cornerstone | 2367 Shattuck Ave, Berkeley |  9 p.m. | $21, 18+

If you can’t get enough ABBA then do we have a dance party for you. We are a DJ based dance party playing all your favorite ABBA hits, plus plenty of other disco hits from the 70s & 80’s like The Bee Gees, Donna Summer, & Cher (Disco attire encouraged).

Saturday, 2/17

Ziwe: The Black Friend Tour
2/17 | Bimbo’s 365 Club | 1025 Columbus Ave, SF | 7:30 p.m. | $35-$49.50

Ziwe is a talented comedian, writer, and actress, who has taken the Internet by storm and captured audiences nationwide with her signature candor, wit, and salient commentary on race and politics in America.

Marky Ramone
2/17 | DNA Lounge | 375 11th St, SF | 7 p.m. Doors | $30-$50

Marky Ramone’s Blitzkrieg promises a full set of 30 Ramones classics powered by their legendary drummer, Marky Ramone.

Bert Kreischer: Tops Off World Tour
2/17 | Chase Center | 1 Warriors Way, SF | 7 p.m. | $42.25-$127.50

According to Forbes, Kreischer has been hailed as, “one of the best storytellers of his generation, seamlessly and sincerely sharing anecdotes about his family and fatherhood while proving that there’s a way to take his [party-boy] antics into middle-age.”

Five Suns Brewing ‘Craft & All-You-Can-Eat Crab Feed’ 2024
2/17 | Five Suns Brewing | 626 Main St, Martinez | 6 p.m. | $75

There are NO SIDES. Let’s be honest. We’re going to eat as little of that as possible anyways so we have more room for CRAB AND BEER! All guests are welcome to bring their own sides. Includes two Five Suns beers, wine, seltzer or beverage of your choice.

Frak’s Bday Bonanza
2/17 | El Rio | 3158 Mission St, SF | 3 p.m. | $15, 21+

Frak’s Bday Bonanza! A day party in the mission. Dance party + live performances & freestyles from some of the Bay Area’s best (who will be the mystery guests?)

Sunday, 2/18

Pride in Panels: SF Queer Comics Festival
2/18 | SF Public Library Main Branch | 100 Larkin St, SF | 12 p.m. | Free

Celebrate the remarkable vitality of the San Francisco Bay Area (and beyond!) queer comics scene, which has never been as dynamic and diverse as it is right now.

Christina P
2/18 | Palace of Fine Arts | 3301 Lyon St, SF | 7 p.m. Doors | $32.50

Christina P. is a Stand-up Comedian, Podcaster and Mother of two young, savage boys. Her hugely successful podcast Your Mom’s House which she hosts with her husband, comedian Tom Segura, is a top-rated comedy podcast on iTunes.

Monday, 2/19

André 3000: New Blue Sun LIVE
2/19 | Cornerstone | 2367 Shattuck Ave, Berkeley | 8 p.m. | $100

The 7x Grammy winning artist released his first solo album in 20 years this past November – New Blue Sun, a wind focused, instrumental album that represents the next step in André’s creative evolution.

Queer Bowling
2/19 | Mission Bowling Club | 3176 17th Street, SF | 6 p.m. | $10

Purchasing a ticket in advance guarantees you entry to MBC and 100% of your purchase will support a local non-profit of our choosing. Your ticket purchase also gets you a complimentary drink (welcome cocktail) as our way of saying thank you for your support of MBC and our community.

Rad Upcoming Events

2/22 | Cornerstone | Save Ferris Ft. The Aquadolls

2/23 | Longboard Margarita Bar | Blvk H3ro and Nick Sefakis (w/ Eureka Sound)

Don’t forget to check out our Big Bad List of Rad Ongoing Events right here!

Love This Newsletter? Help it Survive!

Did you know it costs us over $10,000 a month to run Broke-Ass Stuart?  And we wouldn’t be here as a resource for you if it weren’t for the over 600 people who support us on Patreon and PayPal. If you find anything in this email helpful or important, we hope you’ll become a member of the Broke-Ass Stuart Patreon. You’ll be helping our team continue to deliver community focused journalism to everyone. You can learn more about why it’s so expensive right here. Plus depending on what tier you join, becoming a Patron gets you anything from random silly postcards from Stuart to free merchandise from our store.