ALL ABOUT OUR HOT-ASS WRITERS
Christy Jovanelly – Cheapskate Commentator
When Christy announced she was leaving her family's Southern California home and moving to San Francisco, her mom said, "Have fun in that den of sin." This is the only (however sarcastic) advice Christy has ever taken from her mom, who also told her to join eharmony.com and cover her eyes during sex scenes in movies. Christy puts her creative writing degree to good use by locating the typos on Chinese food menus and spends most of her time challenging friends to all-you-can-eat contests and trying to get that one bartender at Zeitgeist to smile.
Mia Di Pasquale – Scroungy Scribbler
Mia is a nice Italian girl from an exotic Italian colony called New Jersey. She studied English Literature and Screenwriting at Drexel University in Philadelphia and has no intention of ever being a teacher. Instead, she produces low-budget films with her crew/friends, one of which actually won a contest hosted by AMC and judged by Mr. Robert (Rob) Zombie. She currently lives and loves in beautiful Oakland, California, which, she maintains, is just as great as and even sunnier than San Francisco.
Dan Cerruti – 99 Cent Store Cowboy
I've lived in New York all my life, and been a cheap ass for longer.
Ryan Miller- Depleted Resource Analyst
Ryan Miller was raised in a small, quaint village named Portland, Oregon before spontaneously packing two suitcases, scrounging up $300 and catching a flight to San Francisco. Judging from his garbage, he is a connoisseur of Sun Chips and rather inexpensive wine. His personal goals are to refrain from hailing and accepting rides in random cars as well as greatly reduce the amount of hugs he provides for the homeless community. While touring Jamaica and prompted for his opinion on the prevalence of TB in third world countries, Miller eagerly asked, "They have Taco Bell here?"
Patrick Poelvoorde – Hedonist Barkeep
Originally hailing from various hitching posts and one-horse towns throughout the Midwest, at 20 Patrick took a leap of faith and bounded westward. But, unlike in the movie industry, he took a wrong turn and wound up in Phoenix where he cut his teeth pouring potables to not-so-sober college students, writing for various publications and painting his little heart out. After 9 years, he found the secret exit and ended up in San Francisco, where his brain is slowly congealing back to a normal(ish) state. Perhaps you will see him stroking down the street on his bike, looking at you with that come- hither stare or inventing new ways to drink away the pain.
Andrew Dalton – Aggressive Panhandler
Andrew is an East Coast transplant from Virginia hamming it up in San Francisco without any intention of leaving. Having worked every typical job from Bike Shop Employee to Bartender to Ad Agency Hotshot, to Dotcom Layoff he now busts his ass covering the "weird things to do" beat for gracious local audiences at SFAppeal.com and rallies the Western Addy/Lower Haight/Panhandle neighborhoods into action at AggressivePanhandler.com. His work was published in a real, paper magazine one time. One day he might even figure out how to make money from it.
Katy B. – Economic Inexpert
Katy B. grew up in Grand Rapids, Michigan, the home of Gerald R. Ford, Andy Richter, and, at one point, the guy who wrote Mr. Holland's Opus. She moved to NYC for her degree in library science, and is now in the Media Studies program at The New School. She hopes to one day be a film studies librarian. Ask her anything about Dewey Decimal – anything! – and she will roll her eyes because academic libraries use Library of Congress. Durrr.
Rebecca Pederson – Cheap Date
Rebecca graduated from UC Santa Cruz with a degree in Literature, but she tells everyone she majored in Psychology so they don't ask her for book recommendations. She likes coffee, pickles, free yoga classes, and spends a lot of time with her dog.
