One of the great things about science fiction is that it doesn’t matter if it is really good or really, really bad, either way it is wonderful. â€œGoosebumpsâ€ was my first encounter with really bad sci-fi. For anyone unfamiliar (no!), allow me to outline the plot of every Goosebumps: tension builds for ten pages and then there is a cliffhanger related to the one, scary thing we have been worried about all book â€“ end chapter! Begin new chapter â€“ ha, sorry, turns out last chapter’s cliffhanger was a false alarm, but scary shit is still on the horizon. If you are not too terrified to keep reading, we’re going to find out for real what is going on with this thing we have been worried about all book. All clues and evidence point to an obvious and increasingly lame conclusion (his teacher is a giantâ€¦turtle) but wait. PLOT TWIST, it is not the obvious conclusion at all! It is something totally unrelated! His teacher is indeed a giant turtle, but HE has been a VAMPIRE all along. So he and his vampire family eat the mutant turtle for dinner. Why they have not acted like vampires at all, or had any problems hanging out in the sun and not drinking blood up until now is IRRELEVANT, so do not even dwell on it. The end.
After a few of these, the worst of sci-fi, I switched to the â€œThe Lord of the Ringsâ€ when I was 12. That was the shiiiit, and got me started on what I will call â€œwi-fiâ€, or wizard fiction. And lately wi-fi has had a huge resurgence, thanks to Harry Potter. I am a big wi-fi fan too. Not to the point where I create fan art or anything so hold your mockery, but I think we are now overdue for a traditional, deep-space sci-fi triology.
In the meantime, re-living old sci-fi classics is a great way to prepare! Surreal Estate NYC is showing three FREE sci-fi movies at their â€œloft spaceâ€ â€“ which I’m sure is not as douchey as it sounds â€“ today at 4pm. The first movie is â€œZardoz,â€ and I believe it falls into the â€œGoosebumpsâ€ spectrum of sci-fi. The first clue being that they felt the need to spell everything with z’s â€“ the most SCI-FI of all the alphabet letters. Sean Connery plays Zed (note the z, obviously named in the future), a barbarian-class man who disrupts life in the vortex by learning to read. The movie begins with this narration: â€œI am Arthur Frayn, and I am Zardoz. I have lived three hundred years, and I long to die. But death is no longer possible. I am immortal. I present now my story, full of mystery and intrigue â€¦â€ Um, YES.
Following â€œZardozâ€ will be FranÃ§ois Truffaut’s â€œFahrenheit 451â€ (good end of the spectrum) at 6pm, and David Bowie in â€œThe Man Who Fell to Earthâ€ at 8pm, which I have never seen, but really who cares which end of the spectrum it’s on, because David Bowie is in it. There will also be tempeh skewers, sushi, dumplings, rice, and other tasty food for cheap!
FREE Sci-Fi Movies
Surreal Estate NYC
15 Thames St.
Sunday, Aug 15, 4-10pm