The answer to this question is easy:  smear on massive amounts of lipstick, back-comb your wig into voluminous perfection, climb up onto a table, and shake your thing because hips don’t lie, honey!  Oh, wait.  So you just want to learn how to dance like a pro, but don’t have

I haven’t broken into a run since 2002.  That was sophomore year of high school, when I used to get in trouble in P.E. class for leisurely bicep-curling five pound weights and gossiping with hoodrat girls who called me “Tasty Vanilla,” when I should have been pumping iron.  But, alas,