How To Fall in Love This Summer (For Girls Who Love Boys)
Last week, we covered “How To Have the Perfect Summer Fling.” But, what if, you are looking for something a little bit, well, more? If that’s the case, then you will need some essential guidelines. Ladies, you must choose wisely. Especially after this damn heat wave, the guys at the bar are only looking for ONE thing. If you are wanting a little more substance, you have to change your choice of your usual type of man, maybe even your regular, old, tried-and-true, usually dysfunctional type. But, if you must go for the old summer fallbacks, (touring quasi rock star, French grad student on loan from gay Paree at Colombia, your cousin’s best friend from the wedding in cape Cod, etc.) PLEASE test drive these no-fail tips first when looking for true-blue love this summer. (Because, let’s face it, ladies, you want it. C’mon!)
1. If you MUST go for the musician, please, for God’s sake, go for the drummer! They’re sweet yet sexy, have their ego under control, and, by numerous friends’ accounts, better in bed than your average lead singer. This is also a great tip for your local band. They are still in a cool band band, can probably play well, and are most likely, very decently hot. (Just trust me on this one!)
2. Eat before you go to the bar. Please. Just…. Do It.
3. Don’t ignore the local neighborhood deli/waiter guy, or Ricardo, who works in the shoe department at Bloomies and wants to be a “model.” These guys will probably really adore you. Give them a real, genuine whirl, ladies. What do you really have to lose? You may be pleasantly surprised while ending up having the time of your life. Imagine: Real, live dates! Flowers! Formal, sweet declarations of infinite adoration! (“You look radiant!” etc.) Don’t you finally want to date a guy who wears a beard non-ironically? Of course. You do! Go for it, ladies.
4. Don’t jump in the sack too fast. Just…don’t. Go ahead…See how it feels. Savor the divine moment of not having to stress the next day, after the first “date.” I’m not preaching, here, just merely suggesting. Again, what do you have to lose, really? Nada.
5. Have fun. Men love a woman who knows how to have a good time. And not just in the way you think I’m talking about. Just, revel in what you love, whatever that really is. Do you love sitting in a darkened movie theatre? Writing one acts? Taking pictures of white-boy graffiti, whatever, just own it, babe. A man loves a woman who knows how to enjoy herself. Because, then he knows, yes, she can have fun with me, too! Takes a lot of pressure off, ladies. And, this attitude, if you really live and own it, makes you more approachable, appealing, and more chill. Personally, exponentially- in every, single way. Dedicate yourself to pleasure for the rest of the summer. See what happens. It works, I swear. Formerly surly cabbies will drive you right to your doorstep, delightful strangers will engage you in conversation, and all the boys will gape and smile in approval, and total and complete admiration.
6. You are beautiful. You really are! Just remember that, girls.
7. If #6 is way too hard to believe, just remember, the most important tip of all: Fake It Till You Make It, ladies. It just has to be that way, right? Right.
*Photo Credit: True Romance press still, Warner Bros.
