PSA: Why Pills That Make Your Poop Glittery Are a Terrible Idea

Despite the posts saying that they give you shiny, glittery poop, it is merely a baloney secondary use for these glitter-filled plastic capsules. Their actual use is way less exciting.

People use them at clubs, festivals, bachelorette parties and any other place you can find a collection of sweaty bodies and loud music. They snap them open and rain the miniscule metal shards throughout the air, onto your clothes, friends, in your hair and in your drinks! Fun times and laughs are had by all! Except the people who were actually hit by the glitter money shot. Glitter is the herpes of the arts n’ crafts world…it re-appears when you least expect it and at the worst times.

Maybe you don’t want your poop to be mundane and just like everyone else’s. It is possible to put some glitz in your butt goo, just be ready to drop some bills. Gold Pills were part of an art installation called INDULGENCES at SFMOMA in 2007. They are for sale now via justanotherrichkid.com and will turn your poo gold…for $425 (plus shipping + handling.)

I know it sounds hilarious and worth the ten bucks but please don’t go on Etsy and buy Glitter Pills to make your poop shiny. You’ll end up with an intestinal infection, blockage and god knows what else that will undoubtedly be painful and require a visit to the ER. Though great for your instagram and facebook feed! #glitterybloodyanus

This has been a public service announcement.

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