Murica! Did you know that most people don’t know the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day? Including your author? Memorial Day honors the men and women who died for our country. Veterans Day celebrates all service men and women, living and otherwise (dead, Marissa. Say “dead”). Got that straight?

I am the Elvis Presley of gift-giving. Once a friend told me a story about how her parents chucked her Addam’s Family board game because they feared it was a bad influence on her younger brother. You better believe I found the very same board game on eBay and gave

I love a reason to drink. Antioxidants? Pour me another glass of Pinot. Whiskey prevents cancer? ‘Scuse me while I finish this Jameson smoothie. Your wife left you? What a bitch. Let’s make sangria (I make great sangria). Having a reason to drink is part of what makes America great

There was a time in my life when I left my birthday plans up to others. For my 24th birthday, my then-boyfriend made plans to take me out for dinner, but first, the sweetheart treated me to a manicure and pedicure at my favorite salon. He even volunteered to drop

Welcome to our cooking column Eating My Feelings, where Calvin Amari shows all you broke bastards how to cook great food on the cheap and do it with hilarity. This motherfucker can cook, trust me. He’s a culinary genius. By Calvin Amari How did I end up here? How did I end up as

I hate yams because they straddle the line between savory and sweet with such limp optimism. Your mouth hopes the yam will take it in some definitive direction but no. It never chooses.

We’ve all been there, dude. You’re happily single, watching True Detective from a stolen source of cable, pretending the chicken in your fridge is still ok to eat, Peter Panning your way through life on a meager salary, when, BAMM! The perfect person comes along, and you’re screwed (literally and