So, I spent a good portion of the day in a dentists chair getting the roots of my teeth scrapped to hell, despite my intense and overwhelming hatred of the dental profession and the entire teeth cleaning process, and I’m still spitting blood so we’re gonna do a short and

In an effort to be crafty, I had my grandmother ship her old 1970’s sewing machine that had been gathering dust in her Michigan basement. And you know what it’s doing now? Gathering even more dust as it sits on my desk silently mocking me for even trying. For years