Straight ladies and gay gents:  think about what makes a man attractive to you.  Is he passionate about life?  Does he respect you?  Does he make you laugh, and make you think about deep, philosophical shit?  If you got knocked up and had a baby, would you not mind that

This Saturday, a very rare and magical thing will happen. Green grass will be seen at McCarren park, wait time at Turkey’s Nest will be less than 5 minutes, and the number of times you think “ZOMG, that’s Zach Galifianakis! Oh… wait, no, it’s not” will be significantly reduced. Siren