RFK, Jr. is a known weirdo.
Gif by MovementMemes on Giphy
Worm-addled brains don’t always make the best decisions. Trump-appointed Health and Human Services Agency head Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. is known for his anti-vax and raw milk ideas, but now he’s got new beef against a surprising nemesis: Beans.
The Dietary Guidelines for Americans released a scientific report in Spring 2025 that elevated beans, peas, and lentils to a new status. The report recommends that departments, “Emphasize consumption of vegetables, fruits, legumes (beans, peas, lentils), whole grains, nuts, and fish/seafood, which were common components found in dietary patterns that were associated with more desirable health outcomes.”
Beans are magical. You’ve heard the old saying: Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot. The more you toot, the better you feel, so eat your beans at every meal. That’s true because beans have a lot of oligosaccharides, a sugar that your body digests and turns into gasses like methane.
Now, the DGA report says we should be emphasizing eating beans regularly. They’re even suggesting we move beans out of “vegetables” and into a new protein category. Breaking ground (or breaking wind) is something the DGA and its counterparts have long done for the US government. They’re behind things like the controversial food pyramid and MyPlate. Both have been criticized for having an outsized influence from Big Agriculture.
But should we fart away the chance to improve the health of our fellow Americans? There are warranted criticisms to make of the DGA report, but it’s also kind of bonkers to completely ignore it. And that’s exactly what RFK is doing.
Instead of using the parts of the report that make sense to him, RFK has said the entire document is “unreadable.” It might have something to do with ultra processed foods, also known as UPFs. According to VegNews, “Kennedy has made attacking UPFs—from seed oils to tomato sauces with added sugar—a personal crusade.” And the report from DGA doesn’t align enough with that.
It’s impossible to talk about UPFs without recognizing that demonizing any type of food is playing into diet culture. According to some researchers, “Diet culture is a societal norm that ranks thin bodies as superior to other body types and has been associated with negative outcomes, such as eating disorders. Wellness has evolved into a term that is often used to promote diet culture messages.”
Diet culture is everywhere. The panic about food has a long, fucked-up history, often aligning with or even springing forth from our racist and classist past and present. RFK’s crusade is to “Make America Healthy Again,” and it’s leading to disordered eating.
Photo of both the beans and the idiot are public domain.
There may be some grains (or legumes) of truth in both the DGA report and RFK’s weird movement. But while the two fight, their battle is blowing up how we cut the cheese everywhere from school cafeterias to grocery stores.
Food justice is always going to be a fight. The cuts to SNAP are going to have long-lasting negative impacts on our society, and it’s terribly hard to fight facism when you’re hungry. And the cuts mean that families who would have used SNAP to shop at the farmer’s market will now be heading to places like FoodsCo, benefiting grocery giant Kroger instead of our rural neighbors. This further divides us and pits the working class against each other for the benefit of billionaires.
The bean wars are a strange example of in-fighting, drama, and corporate influence having a bigger part than the voices of the people. Don’t let the weirdos stop you from enjoying one of God’s greatest gifts. After all, we’re all human beans, aren’t we?
