OFF MENU IS SPONSORED BY BENDER’S BECAUSE THEY ARE BADASS. DROP BY AND MAKE SOME BAD DECISIONS WITH SOME GOOD PEOPLE!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Yeah we went there, we tracked down the 10 worst places to get a burrito in San Francisco.  Hours worth of data collection, dozens of interviews with food experts and drunks allowed us to compile the totally unbiased, indisputable, MASTER LIST of the absolute worst burritos in San Francisco CA city limits.  Nate Silver, Anna Maria Barry-Jester, and Five Thirty Eight…eat your hearts out.

10.  Taco Bell (Outer Sunset)

Burrito Supreme

Foodie’s Statement:  “Great customer service, but after eating four soft tacos and three burrito supremes (not all in one sitting, i’m not a pig), I couldn’t stop pooping the next day. Great customer service tho.”

9.  Taco Bell (Marina)

Beefy 5 Layer Burrito

Critics Review: “I came here because I heard Taco Bell started serving alcohol late night, I figured I could crush a couple shots and find me some hot poontang at the T-bell bar before going back to my pad to smash.  They didn’t have any f@*king Grey Goose man!  What kind of a bar doesn’t have Grey Goose? No Stars Bro, NO STARS”

8.  Taco Bell (Mission District)

smothered burrito

Critic’s Statement: “It made my farts smell like formaldehyde and baby food” 

7. Taco Bell (FiDi)

7 Layer Burrito

Foodie’s Review: “Tortillas are stale, rice is under cooked and the chicken is over cooked. prices are 5x more expensive than other Taco Bell”

6. Carl’s Jr. Green Burrito (Civic Center)

Steak Burrito Especial

Review by professional Youtube critic: “The beans in the burritos are always dry and hard.  It’s like eating baby teeth with salsa, which normally I like, but they wouldn’t let me use the bathroom here, so screw them”

5. Taco Bell/KFC (Bayview)

XXL Grilled Stuffed Burrito (Chicken)

Top Critics Review:  “Made the mistake of coming here when I wasn’t high, I ran out screaming” 

 4. Taco Bell (Excelsior)

Bean and Cheese Burrito

Critic’s Review: “This place is disgusting. I usually check my table to see if there’s some kind of intelligent life evolving underneath. It’s really a one-star establishment.”

3. Taco Bell (SoMa)

Cantina Power Burrito

Foodie Review: “The Burrito tasted like the sidewalk turd I stepped over on the way to this location.”

2. Taco Bell (Western Addition)

Breakfast Burrito

Critic’s Opinion: “The breakfast burrito and soft taco are my laxatives in the morning!  Thank YOU  TACO BELL!”

1. Taco Bell (Tenderloin)

Beefy Cheesy Burrito

Food Expert: “The burrito tasted like the Taco Bell Chichuahua took a dump in my mouth while I was sleeping”

 

Disclaimer

* All Photos were submitted by professional critiques that we made up, we have nothing against Taco Bell in particular, we just thought this was hilarious