McSorley's Old Ale House
Founded in 1854, Mcsorley’s is New York’s oldest bar and because of this its slogan is, “We’ve been here since before you were born” Are you kidding me McSorley’s? You’ve been here since when my ancestors were getting raped and pillaged by fucking Cossacks. No shit you’ve been here before I was born. And you know what McSorley’s? I love you for it. I love that your walls are crammed with photos and memorabilia from over 150 years of dedicated drinking. I love that your chandelier probably hasn’t been dusted since when they use to call WWI “The Great War”. I love how your urinals are weird and old and bigger than some of the apartments in this strange city that you and I both inhabit.
And you know what else I love about you McSorley’s? I love that you only serve two drinks, light beer and dark beer, and that they’re both delicious and only cost $2.25 each. Who cares if it wasn’t until 1970 when you begrudgingly let women through your hallowed doors because of some namby-pamby Supreme Court case? You’ve had Abe Lincoln, John Lennon and Woody Guthrie hang out at your tables! Who needs chicks right? I guess what I’m trying to say Mcsorley’s is that you might be the best bar in the world, except for Friday and Saturday nights when your sublime atmosphere gets screwed up by too many guys who’s favorite band is Sublime.
15 E 7th St. @ Cooper Square