Inspired by Sarah’s guide-to-cutting-your-own-hair post last week, I went digging in my really old and disgusting clear closet organizer thing where I knew an aging pair of shears were buried somewhere. See, I used to have bangs, and I would always cut my bangs myself because one thing I flat-out refuse to spend more than ten bucks on is haircuts. But then I realized my bangs just made me look like a pathetic Zooey Deschanel wanna-be (obviously no mere mortal can ever be as cute as she), so I grew those babies out and haven’t touched my hair since.
A few days ago, though, right before I snipped, I logged into my old Snapfish account, skimmed through some vintage photos and came to my senses. I remembered I’m like a two-year-old when handling scissors — extremely dangerous. I think the unfortunate combo of lack of coordination and the inability to chop in straight lines, no matter how detailed a guide I’m following, will forever cripple me in the art of self-hair-cutting.
But I still want a haircut, and I want bangs. This time, though, I’m afraid to entrust my long, long locks to Great Clips, so I headed over to Yelp to do some salon reconnaissance — and WOW. Haircuts really cost that much now? I could send a Tanzanian kid to school for a year for half that.
Then I came across the special offer for Metamorphosis Salon, which filled my heart with joy because it contained two of my very favorite things — cheap stuff and gambling. Apparently, they have a monthly raffle, and if you win, you get a FREE haircut. From a REAL salon. Tickets cost $5 a pop, but that’s still cheaper than Great Clips. Or playing Keno. For some reason the only people I know who actually buy lottery tickets are total broke-asses, and a simple statistics calculation tells me that there’s a WAY higher chance of winning this haircut than the lotto. Oh, and of course, winning won’t slam you with The Curse of the Lottery — just pretty hair.Metamorphosis Salon 1841 Market St. (btwn Guerrero & Laguna) [Hayes Valley/Mission]
Photo courtesy of Yelper Arseni H.
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