Broke-Ass Stuart is now accepting poetry submissions to be featured in the BAS Poetry: Arts & Culture column. Written & curated by Corinne Avganim.
Photo credit: wonkette.com
Sometimes, as a freelancer, I would go through waves of feeling inspired and waves of…not so much. When you work alone 90% of the time, most of the inspiration you come by comes through some sort of digital lens. Human contact and the inspiration drawn from it is something you have to proactively search out.
I found that human connection, and endless inspiration at Creative Mornings/San Francisco. I first heard about it while working in Oakland since there’s also an Oakland chapter. It’s dope. Once a month, a bunch of people get together in some cool venue for free breakfast, lots and lots of coffee and a short but inspiring talk. Each month there’s a new theme that 182 cities from around the world form an event around. It was exactly what I needed to see beyond myself, creatively.
A lot of the times the themes can lead to pretty heavy and heady conversations, but this last talk’s theme was “games.” Fittingly, instead of a Powerpoint presentation, the speaker recited an original poem. It’s super Dr. Seuss-y, but with a very now vibe.
Brady GillSan Francisco, California
I left on my quest to the Mountain of Should‘Cause I shouldI just thought that I shouldAnd I should
Many had journeyed, all said it’s the waySeemed foolish to question and hard to escapeThis feeling I had, like a debt to be paidOf course I had doubts, but I kept them at bayBy telling the world that, “Today is the day!I will climb the Mountain of Should‘Cause I shouldEveryone says I shouldAnd I should”
You shouldn’t go, unless you’re preparedOne friend said to me, There’s danger out thereI don’t mean to scare you, but you should be scared‘Cause you should‘Cause I amAnd you should
I tried to get ready but needed a lotSo many things to learned and be boughtAll sorts of supplies and provisions to makeAnd books to be read and courses to takeAnd facts to be known for knowledge’s sakeNo room for error, no room for mistakesAnd even then I still felt like a fake
I’ll never be ready so why should I care!
But the shopkeeper there just grimaced and stared“Don’t act so abused, it’s called paying your duesThis is fair, this is fair, and just like the restYou should care”So I cared
I cared because I was scaredAnd I shouldI thought I should careAnd I should
So off I went with my pack full of stuffWhich felt like too much and I hoped was enoughThere was one way to go and that way was upOn the Mountain of Should the path could be roughAnd that was OK ‘cause it all should be tough
It should be hardIt shouldn’t be easyYour body should ache and your stomach feel queasy
And that’s how I felt going up every dayFor months, for years, I traveled this way
‘Cause I should‘Cause I knew that’s the way it should feelAnd it shouldAnd I shouldAnd it shouldAnd it shouldAnd I shouldAnd it shouldAnd I should
“Where are you going?”A monk said to meMe trudging higher, her shooting the breeze
“I’m climbing the Mountain of ShouldCan’t you see?That I shouldAnd I shouldAnd I should”
“But why are you climbing?Where will you go?What will you find?When will you know?What will you gain from reaching the topOf a mountain which frankly just doesn’t stop?When will you stop?When will you see?When will you pause?When will you breathe?”
“Not now you old foolThere’s no stopping me!There’s no truth in your wordsYou’re just jealous I see‘Cause you can’tBut you shouldAnd I should”
Higher and higher I pressed to the topTo the top of the mountain that never would stop
Each day I came closer to the summit I cravedBut each time I looked it seemed farther away
So harder each day I pushed myself moreThough every step felt like a choreThough every morning I woke up with dreadAnd each night was filled with strange thoughts in my head
The higher I wentThe more tired and spentI would feelFrom my head, right down to my healsSo tired I couldn’t quite tell what was real
For sitting one day, resting my feetI thought to myself, when will I be complete?
And then came a thought I found quite defeatingDo I even know what it is that I’m seeking?
I climb ‘cause I should, but where am I going?And is that place worth the weight that I’m towing?
It was then that the old monks words spoke to meIt was then that I stoppedI pausedAnd I breathedAnd just like that I was able to see
Hundreds of mountainsThousands of peaksMillions of “Shoulds” that everyone seeksAll of us climbing, our goal to ascendMissing each moment to get to the end
And when will it end?Where are we going?What is this truth that we all should be knowing?What are these shoulds that we’re toldThat we feelHow can something that’s not real feel so real?
What if they’re nothing, in our heads, just a voice?What if they’re wrong, and we all have a choice?
With my shoulds all released, I found with reliefMy need to climb higher was just a beliefAnd if I chose to stop then I couldNot I shouldI decided to stop and I could
And as soon as I stopped I was delighted to findThe distance I’d traveled was all in my mind
The crumbled Should Mountain was nowhere in sightNow hundreds of paths, each one of them right
Each with their lossesEach with their winsEach was a story that I could begin
And without all these shouldsI felt goodI feel goodI’m choosing my path and I’m good*
Photo credit: wonkette.com
Want to see Brady’s poem come to life? Apparently enough people do that it warranted a Kickstarter. Stay tuned here for more, or follow us via @brokeassstuart and the hashtag #poetryisvoice.
To submit a poem, email [email protected] with your 100% original piece of work, full name, age, city, links to social media, and (optional) biographical blurb.
The post BAS Poetry: ‘The Mountain of Should’ by Brady Gill appeared first on Broke-Ass Stuart's Website.
