ComedyNewsPressSan Francisco

Chase Center Giant TV To Just Play Laker Games Now 

The Bay's best newsletter for underground events & news

On Wednesday night as the Golden State Warriors battled to see who would remain in dead last in the NBA, Chase Center thought it might lift people’s spirits if they just played the Lakers broadcast on the stadium’s giant television.

“It’s all about choice,” said the Warriors representative, “if you paid for season tickets and you’re tired of watching the warriors 2nd string players lose to the Knicks, you can simply look up and watch a real game too.”

He continued, “On the stadium’s outdoor screen we’re probably just going to play Steph Curry Highlights from 2015.  That or maybe show some Clipper games.”  Said the Warrior’s Stadium Representative.

The Warriors have now lost 16 of their last 19 games, and have the worst record in the entire NBA.  To put this in perspective, for the last 5 seasons, the Warriors have finished with the best record in the NBA 4 out of 5 times and won 3 NBA championships.  Now, with Steph Curry and Clay Thompson hurt, Kevin Durrant gone and Iguodala traded away,  this year will probably be known as the ‘forgotten season’, it’s like one long practice session, just preparing for next year.

A die-hard Warrior after the game Wednesday night said, “yeah I looked down and we were losing to the Knicks, the fucking KNICKS! Then I looked up and saw that I could just watch the Laker game instead, so, it wasn’t a half-bad night.”

When asked, ‘would you come back to Chase Stadium this year?’  The man said, “Hmmm, if they play broadcast the Bucks game on the big TV next time, I’d probably show up again, as for the Warriors, we’ll get a top draft pick 6 months from now, I can wait.”


* This article is satire.  If they actually played a Laker game in a stadium in San Francisco, there would be boos for 5 minutes, and then probably some kind of riot would break out.   And on a final note, that Chase Center TV is way too fucking big, it literally has more square footage than the actual basketball court.  If you’re way up high in the cheap seats, you can barely see around it to watch the actual game happening down below. 

Here’s to 2020, a healthy roster, and a nice first-round draft pick.  Hang in there Warriors.

Previous post

Stop Giving Me S*** for Loving Shia LaBeouf

Next post

Worst Song of All Time?: “We Didn’t Start the Fire” Turns 30


Alex Mak - Managing Editor

Alex Mak - Managing Editor

I'm the managing editor and co-owner of this little expiriment. I enjoy covering Bay Area News as well as writing about Arts, Culture & Nightlife.

If you're a writer, artist, or performer who would like to get your work out there, or if you've got great things to promote, we've got 160k followers and really fun ways to reach them. We love making things with other Bay creatives, for our partners, and our community. Don't be shy.
alex at brokeassstuart.com
IG: @alexmaksf