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Trendy Self-Care Mantras Are Destroying Your Life

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by Laurie Riihimaki 

In the last decade, there has been a big switch in the way we perceive mental health. Now, the topic of mental health is widely talked about and the stigma is being slowly wiped away. A lot of the positive and open conversation about mental health has occurred because of the well-known celebrities, authors, athletes, CEOs, and other noteworthy individuals who have started a conversation about their own struggles.

But have we gone too far? 

Nowadays, you see self-care products for sale on TV and Facebook, reminders about self-care from every basic girl on your Instagram feed (usually in the form of a very colorful chart decorated with a sassy anonymous quote about loving yourself), and floods of people posting pics of them spending ridiculous amounts of money on themselves, shoving their faces with a giant slice of pepperoni pizza, or showing off an active charcoal face mask. All of course, with the hashtag #treatyourself. 

These little pushes to practice self-care may seem innocent. But are they actually destroying our lives? Let’s take a closer look. 

Stop Giving a F*ck

So, there’s a new saying that’s the answer to basically everything in the Millennial and Gen X world. It’s “fuck it.” 

For example, you have a paper due at noon for your professor, “fuck it.” You have a meeting with a client but you’re hungover, “fuck it.” Your sister’s baby shower, “fuck it.”

This is a super convenient and handy excuse for anyone looking to get out of their responsibilities. However, using this for everything definitely makes you come off as a shitty person. No one wants to be friends with someone who only puts themselves first and forgets all of their promises, commitments, and responsibilities. 

Also, as humans, don’t we need responsibility to feel like we are actually doing shit with our lives? The people who have no drive are the people who say “fuck it” to everything besides masturbating, smoking weed, and eating handfuls of Doritos. 

Treat Yourself!

The dangerous “treat yourself” cycle is a killer to not only your bank account, but also your body and your mind. Advertised by Aziz’s Tom Haverford and his pal Donna on Parks and Recreation, this mantra began as a literal JOKE.

The art of treating yourself can come in many forms, whether it’s spending, sleeping, eating, or taking action. Really, it’s another convenient excuse for terrible people to do whatever the fuck they want. “Treat yourself” legit has no rules. 

You could eat an entire gallon of ice cream a day, killing your body with sugar, and say “treat yourself” to reason it. You could also spend your life savings on a nonsensical shopping spree with the same mindset. You could even murder an ex-lover in the name of self-care to keep his toxic vibes away from you. 

In reality, “treat yourself” is you slowly killing yourself. 

Never Settle

Alright, so I’m not telling your single ass to go out and screw the first person that talks to you while shopping at Trader Joe’s. But, I am telling you that this whole “don’t settle” thing has gone a little overboard. It’s setting unrealistic expectations for potential partners. 

People are not perfect. Everyone has some flaws or qualities that others may not like. But, that doesn’t mean they are not worthy of you. Seriously, who are you to even think that? Put your crown aside and do some deep thinking. 

If you are constantly reminding yourself never to settle, then you will end up never settling. That means living alone for the rest of your life with nobody to love, screw, or kiss… probably with an array of low-maintenance succulents, a wardrobe of colorful turtlenecks, an absurdly expensive espresso maker, and a DVD collection of Laverne & Shirley.

If this is the kind of life you want then go ahead, keep not settling. 

Good Vibes Only 

We all want good vibes around us. Seriously, like who wouldn’t? But is this “good vibes only” mantra really giving us good vibes?

Let’s examine this. By using the phrase, “good vibes only” aren’t we actually suppressing mental health? It’s not healthy to be as happy and positive as fitness trainer Denise Austin 24/7. People have got to feel! 

If you’re sad, be fucking sad. Cry a damn river. Don’t let people pressure you with their empty “good vibes only” motto. Holding those tough feelings inside of you will only create a bubbling explosion later. 

People are allowed to be mad, sad, depressed, anxious, miserable, whatever the hell they want. If you want “good vibes only,” you’re out of luck because life doesn’t work that way. So put away the fake smile and really feel. 

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1 Comment

  1. Shahdé Tavakoli
    April 20, 2020 at 7:22 am — Reply

    Yikes. I get it, I guess – there are a lot of articles on this. Tons. In my opinion, this comes off particularly bitter and judgmental. I think most people are coping as best they know how. Yes, social media is showy and disingenuous at times but who is to say that that “sassy anonymous quote” isn’t something that that person needed in the moment?

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