Arts and CultureComedyNew YorkNewsSan FranciscoSatire/Humor/Comedy

Who Said It: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

Updated: Apr 20, 2020 11:30
The Bay's best newsletter for underground events & news

This perfect image is from The Lost Ogle

Without even thinking twice, I can confidently say the best thing I’ve experienced during the Coronavirus Quarantine has been watching Tiger King. Netflix describes it as “A zoo owner spirals out of control amid a cast of eccentric characters in this true murder-for-hire story from the underworld of big cat breeding.” But honestly, this is the perfect description of it:

One thing that struck me most about the show though was how much Joe Exotic’s pathological narcissism reminded me of that fuckboy in the White House. If Donald Trump was born a poor, gay, redneck, he would’ve ended up like Joe Exotic. No doubt about it.

Just to prove it, I’m presenting a series of quotes below and you have to guess who said each one, Joe Exotic or Donald Trump. I will of course be sprinkling in some incredible Tiger King memes throughout.

The answers to all of them will be at the very bottom of the article (shout out to my roommates Dan and Rebecca for helping with the quotes).

Here we go:

1. “I’m taking her on because everyone else is scared to. She has a lot of answering to do. Her day is coming.”

Who’s said it: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

2. “Every day I get someone trying to slam me down”

Who’s said it: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

 3. “I’m gonna stay on your ass so hard that you’re gonna end up in jail for fraud before this is over.”

Who’s said it: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

4. “You know the saying that you get your day in court? Well I don’t feel we got our day in court. Dirty politics is what I call it.”

Who’s said it: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

5. “If you have a problem with me, take it up with me, like a man.”

Who’s said it: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

6. “I was his campaign manager for a year and a half. It was the worst experience of my life. It was horrible. Horrible, horrible.”

Was this said about: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

7. “Next time you’re in jail and you’re homeless, be sure you don’t call me.”

Who’s said it: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

8. “What are we gonna do if we win?”

Who’s said it: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

9. “I’m outspoken, good looking, love to party and have fun.”

Who’s said it: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

10. “Before you bring me down, it is my belief you will stop breathing”

Who’s said it: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

11. “The woman’s just obsessed with me”

Who’s said it: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?

12. “She can make all these people think that everybody else in society are abusers but her.”

Who’s said it: Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?


The Answers

Joe Exotic is the answer to all of them.

How many did you think were said by Donald Trump? At least half right? See what I mean by saying “If Donald Trump was born a poor, gay, redneck, he would’ve ended up like Joe Exotic.”

And that’s the motherfucker we have handling this coronavirus situation. Man we are fucked!

Thank god we can at least watch Tiger King.

Previous post

Bay Area Curve Stays Flattened, UCSF ER Stays Quiet

Next post

Local Love Online Art Gallery Combines Fresh New Works With Fundraising For Artists


Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website BrokeAssStuart.com is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, Geek.com and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.