The Introvert’s Survival Guide to The Holidays

I can’t imagine I’m the only one who hates forced togetherness, and the holidays are full of it. As an introvert, my holiday game plan involves creating moments of solitude and savoring peaceful times with family. Every holiday season I feel tremendously grateful for living in a place with so many great ways to connect with my family in ways that work for me where I don’t feel too burnt out by the end of the visit. Here are some of my tried-and-true methods to maintaining my sanity during the holiday hustle.

Before the holiday craziness kicks in, take a moment to consider your needs. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to how to navigate the holidays – some introverts may crave a bit of connection, while others prefer to avoid it altogether and love a more solitary holiday. Understanding your needs is crucial, ensuring that your approach to the holidays aligns with what supports you. Each of the strategies below can and should be tailored to you.

Here are 6 strategies I’ve got up my sleeve

1: Any Beach is a Great Place to Avoid Awkward Conversation

Heading over to the beach for the views and the loud I love my family lots and lots. We’re a chatty bunch, always sharing what’s on our minds. But, personally, the holidays stress me out, and I’m steering clear of any political debates. 

San Francisco’s Ocean Beach

For me, the perfect place to keep the conversation light is at the beach. With its gusty winds this time of year, the beach becomes my haven for keeping conversations light while you look for sand dollars or watch pelicans fly by. To be honest, the ambient noise of the waves makes it challenging to hear, and the beauty around us becomes the default topic—a perfect escape.

• Ocean Beach – we even did a whole write up about which beaches were better NY or SF
• Alameda Beach at Shoreline Drive
• Albany Bulb – the beach here is tiny but it’s a great little place to explore and look at art… another way to shift the conversation when/if needed.

2: Visiting The Redwoods is a Nurturing Moment of Zen

Then, if my family is coming into town I will suggest a few introvert-friendly activities where there is as much talking and/or we’re somewhere with less people so it’s not overwhelming. Of course, this is totally subjective because some activities (like a car ride through the redwoods in Marin) might feel totally overwhelming for some but for me I consider it a nice time to listen to a podcast rather than talking about any heavy subject.

Views of the trail up towards “Old Survivor” include bridges and 100+ year old redwoods

Some favorite go-to redwood groves:

• Visiting “Old Survivor” – the oldest Redwood in Oakland
• Finding all the Trolls on The Troll Trail – a great beginner hike
• Take the family to Big Basin for a hike.

If there’s a pup along for the family fun, we have a full list of dog-friendly walks with amazing Bay views – a great way to take a family “turkey trot” after Thanksgiving dinner. 

3: A Movie at an Indie Movie Theater Brings the Family Together

If I need to take a little break away from my family, I have two strategies… raise my hand and volunteer to run that last-minute grocery store run -or- suggest everyone heads to a movie at one of my favorite indie movie theaters. Also, for those who live alone – it’s a nice place to head to just to be around people with no obligaton to speak to anyone because talking is frowned upon anyway.

My favorite places to see a movie:

• Balboa Theater – Outer Richmond, SF
• Grand Lake Theater – Oakland
• 4 Star Theater – Outer Richmond, SF (run by the same folks as Balboa)
• The Roxie – The Mission, SF
• New Parkway – Oakland (also a great place for FREE Bingo nights)

4: Bay Area Holiday Lights are FREE and on Full Display

If you’re stuck spending time with the family, make the most of it by engaging in activities that bring you joy! I absolutely love checking out holiday light displays – they’re one of my favorite FREE things to do in The Bay during the festive season. No matter who I’m with, I have a massive smile on my face. One of my all time favorite traditions is visiting the elaborate gingerbread house inside the lobby of SF’s Fairmont Hotel. It brings me back to a moment back in the mid-2000s when I accidentally stumbled upon the giant creation during the most adorable holiday light tour I took on a trolly. It was such a quintessential SF moment.

5: Suggest Activities Your Family Would Love to Go to While You Hang at Home?

There are a slew of family-friendly events happening during Thanksgiving week. Ask your family for some solo time to get your own things done while they go on an adventure.

• The 21st annual Turkey Trot in San Francisco
• Explore Victorian-Era London via The Great Dickens Christmas Fair
• Roll through the redwoods with Roaring Camp Railroads and their trains decked out in beautiful holiday lights.

If you need to tag along with the family and can’t get away, I’d suggest going somewhere like The Ferry Building. It might seem like a crazy suggestion, but the size of the Ferry Building allows you to discover a cozy solo spot, perhaps with a cappuccino from Blue Bottle, while your family explores the area.

6: When in Doubt, Know that it’s all temporary

Everything in life is temporary – the good and the bad. Try not to do everything on your list and just go slowly. Taking things slowly when you’re stressed out during the holidays can be beneficial for several reasons – reduces overwhelm, allows for space to make decisions that balances your needs against others, encourages time for reflection and helps you take the moments you need to breathe deeply and stay relaxed and happy. 

side note: Edward Scissorhands is a Christmas Movie – do you think he was an introvert?

You can get through this crazy time of year – you got this!
Surviving the holiday chaos as an introvert involves crafting moments of solitude and cherishing peaceful family times, making me deeply appreciative of the myriad ways to connect without feeling burnt out. If you’re having a particularly hard time this holiday, reach out to a close friend and let them know. Ask them to scoop you up to take you to get some coffee away from family if you need help.