Craigslist Post Looks For “Fit Woman” To Run Banned Bookstore For Nudists In Union Square

This image is a composite of a Creative Commons  bookstore photo by Katharine Sparrow via Stockvault and a Creative Commons photo of a model by Jernej Graj via Unsplash.

Are you a fit, fame-driven woman with dreams of sneaking bibles into Saudi Arabia while being butt naked? Well, if so, boy, do I have the gig for you! 

Okay, the ad doesn’t explicitly say ‘nakedness,’ but it certainly seems like something George would be behind.

Local nudist and former SF Board of Supervisors candidate, George Davis, has plans to open up a banned bookstore, all he’s missing is a fit naked female CEO to run it!  

In a recent craigslist ad titled “Female to develop a Banned Bookstore project” George states that he’s looking for a “fit and ambitious” woman who is “able to manage people and give media interviews, delegate work, and make business deals. A+ if you can write 500 word essays, pr, and business dispatches”

I can do all of this, the only thing holding me back is that I’m a fat man who resembles a zip lock bag of cottage cheese covered in pubic hairs. But other than that, I’m exactly what George is looking for. 

This project is more ambitious than just books and boobies, George believes this may be able to reverse the much talked about ‘Doom Loop.’ Clearly George doesn’t seem to care about the mainstream media, because if George’s banned bookshop ends the economic decline of Union Square, what would Fox News complain about?

I’m just kidding, there’s a dead horse to beat somewhere if you look hard enough. 

The greatness of George’s idea isn’t only in its ability to revitalize San Francisco, but in its inherent replicability. Any American city (or London) that’s struggling with a post-pandemic economic slump can follow the formula and open their own naked banned bookstore. 

George’s bookstore idea isn’t some small project either – the entire space being offered is 30,000 sq. ft. This store, if it does open, would be the equivalent to a butt naked Barnes and Noble, but as George stated in the Craigslist ad, 12,000 sq. ft. would suffice. 

George aims to open the store by August 1st with plans of keeping it going through the remainder of the year. 

To be fair to George, despite the jokes, I would totally go to a banned bookstore run by naked women, and I would totally write an article about it. This isn’t the worst idea I’ve heard in an attempt to revitalize Downtown San Francisco. It’s definitely a better idea than closing liquor stores in the Tenderloin to deter drug dealing. 

The store would undoubtedly capture national media attention and bring much needed foot traffic to Union Square. I can already imagine Fox News having a fucking meltdown over it, which is always fun. I can also see the think-pieces in stuffy left-leaning publications debating whether or not a bookstore run by attractive nude women is ethical. 

But at this point in American capitalism, is anything ethical? I’m literally typing this on a computer that was probably assembled by a child in China. If there’s a God, we’re all going to Hell.  Might as well have some fun. 

And for better or worse, George’s idea is kind of fun.

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