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VANILLA ICE vs MICK JAGGER: Who Would You Rather Be?

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Deep thoughts with Stuart and I.

The other day I ran in to Broke Ass Stuart eating pizza at shop on Valencia. He invited me to sit down … and so I did. I ate pizza he had wings. We pondered the greater things in life, talked about heavy topics, questioned the meaning of many things … and then the conversation got HEAVY! “So Stefan, (I GOT WORRIED) would you rather be Vanilla Ice or Mick Jagger?”

Instantly I assumed this must be a trick question. The answer was so easy! Obviously I’d be Vanilla Ice! Who in their right mind would pick Mick Jagger? Vanilla Ice had steps in his hair, stripes in his eyebrow, rollin’ in his 5.0 with his ragtop down so his hair can blow! The thought of It makes me want to grab my boombot, a U.S.A. jacket and cruise up and down Mission just blasting “Ice, Ice Baby!”

I was lost in my imagination when Stuart snapped me out of it. “WRONG!” He was looking at me like I was the dumbest thing he’d seen since the shake weight. Then he exclaimed, “Are you freaking serious? You didn’t choose Mick Jagger, Rolling Stones, rock and roll, the mother effin Godfather of rock!? (I can’t remember if that’s what he actually said … but you can imagine!!!) You must crazy … and actually you’re WRONG!” So for the last week or so I’ve been debating whether or not I was wrong … then the other night I asked a friend, “Who would you rather be Mick Jagger or Vanilla Ice?” To which they responded, “Vanilla Ice, DUH!” And so now I’m asking you, please choose who’s right, me for picking Vanilla Ice or Stuart for picking Mick Jagger. It’s your turn to vote!

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.