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A Cute Cartoon About the Time I Almost Got Murdered by a Bar Bouncer

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The very talented Mike Force did all the layout out and design for my three books (Kenny Liu did the cover for the first two). One day he and I had a great idea: to turn one of my many crazy stories in a cartoon. So that’s just what he did for the NYC book. We are doing a giveaway for Mike’s new book, Don’t Shoot Important People, and in honor of this occasion I thought it would be awesome to publish the cartoon he did, especially since the cartoon is in the book. So peep the cartoon in all it’s glory below and enter to win Mike’s new book here. how-to-piss-people-off-part-1 how-to-piss-people-off-part-2 how-to-piss-people-off-part-3 how-to-piss-people-off-part-4…we ran for another couple blocks, continually looking back to make sure the terminator wasn’t behind us, before we decided we were in the clear.  We then took the only natural course of action; we got a slice and another cold beer.    

Apparently I blacked out after that, which is something I almost never do. In fact, I probably would never have known about blacking out if I hadn’t called my girlfriend the next morning to tell her all about my night.  When I began to get into the story she cut me off, “Yeah I know all about it.  The bouncer was some minotaur or monster or some shit and you pissed on his door.  Blah blah blah.  Do you know how fucking mad I am at you?”

    I was dumbstruck.  How did she know about that goddamn bouncer?  Was she in league with him?  Did she not want me in the bar either?  “I can tell by your silence that you obviously don’t remember calling me last night, which means you also don’t remember grilling me about what the fuck I was doing and who I was watching a movie with.”
    I sat that there trying to think.  Am I really that fucking guy when I blackout?  I would never trip on shit like that normally.  I knew I should have paced myself better.  I guess there’s always tonight to try again.       

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Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Broke-Ass Stuart - Editor In Cheap

Stuart Schuffman, aka Broke-Ass Stuart, is a travel writer, poet, TV host, activist, and general shit-stirrer. His website is one of the most influential arts & culture sites in the San Francisco Bay Area and his freelance writing has been featured in Lonely Planet, Conde Nast Traveler, The Bold Italic, and too many other outlets to remember. His weekly column, Broke-Ass City, appears every other Thursday in the San Francisco Examiner. Stuart’s writing has been translated into four languages. In 2011 Stuart created and hosted the travel show Young, Broke, and Beautiful on IFC and in 2015 he ran for Mayor of San Francisco and got nearly 20k votes.

He's been called "an Underground legend": SF Chronicle, "an SF cult hero":SF Bay Guardian, and "the chief of cheap": Time Out New York.

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