Best Cafes To Write Sad Poetry In NYC
Regardless of the current holiday trend, season, or weather, there’s ALWAYS a reason to be miserable in NYC.
Whether you’re dealing with rent hikes, stepping over dead rats in your brand new heels, getting groped on the subway, or an insufferable co-worker who constantly gets promoted over you, the tension in this city can build to a boiling point.
Depression is rage turned inward.
Instead of following the classic NYC stereotype of screaming “FUCK YOU” at the top of your lungs in the middle of the street amongst pedestrians who could give a shit, try an alternative approach. Take some time to grab a coffee and put your emo rage from pen to paper. It’s high time to write some bad poetry, and here are the best places you can go and do it.
Budin
This Nordic coffee shop is actually a great spot to frequent if you live in Greenpoint. It’s a hybrid coffee shop, beer bar, and – oh look! They also sell designer home goods. So why is this place on a list of coffee shops to write sad poetry in? Well, while the coffee is good it’s become unreasonably expensive. Budin made headlines for offering a record-setting latte price of $7, which is crazy even for Brooklyn. You can get depressed when thinking about how expensive it is to buy a latte in this café, and then get even more depressed imagining how you could never ever afford to bring a date here!
Coffee or food? You only get one.
Walter’s Coffee Roastery
Ugh, Hollywood has taken over everything! From reboots of classics to the capitalist society that makes executives want to turn everything into a franchise – there’s a point where “voting with our dollars” doesn’t feel satisfying enough. Sometimes you need to get hopped up on caffeine with the intent of writing an OpEd about how corporate Hollywood is ruining society to submit to The Atlantic. Alas, you inevitably look around and realize that this is a Breaking Bad-inspired coffee shop. And Instead of a unique, original coffee shop, Brooklyn gets a coffee shop that has no actual tie to a hit TV show except the name? Very depressing my friend. Very Depressing.
Café Grumpy
Though there are a few locations of this chain throughout NYC, and though it was founded in Greenpoint – we’re focusing on the Financial District location because it’s their newest location. Well, that, and it’s the perfect location to get sad about the current state of the financial industry. The location, interestingly, is located in the original office for Stone & Webster – a company that collapsed after a major bribery scandal. And as an extra bonus, it’s literally got ‘grumpy’ in the name.
Soak up the 1929 despair and death vibes!
Fair Folks & A Goat
Is the cynic in you looking to take out some negativity on hipster culture? It can’t get more hipster than this – a coffee shop that’s also a clothing showroom, that’s also a co-op that has absolutely nothing to do with goats. Plus you have to buy a membership to shop there! it’s pretty nonsensical. But, then again, so is a lot of NYC’s coffee culture. Let the madness ensue your psyche and fuel your repressed poetic rage.
Where are the goats!?
La Lanterna di Vittorio
This über romantic coffee shop is perfect for couples and not-so-perfect for people who are lonely. Grab a delicious cappuccino, then choke back tears as you drink it without that ex-boyfriend/girlfriend you thought you were better off without. Oh also, eat your feelings and try the lasagna. It’s apparently delicious.
7-Eleven
Aside from the fact that this is a 7-fucking-Eleven, their coffee is atrocious. It’s the perfect place to come up with six-word short stories about the people that buy their coffee – and actually like it. Also, a good place to stand outside and try to practice your slam poetry. Go ahead. Try it.
