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What happens when the Dominatrix isn’t in the dungeon?

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Welcome to Brain-Throbs & Blow Jobs, a column that will be highlighting the great minds and perspectives of Bay Area sex workers through interviews and photo portraits.


I met Oakland based Pro Domme, Avalon Black, for a drink at a local coffee shop, and was reminded that being Dominant is not about wearing all black and having a stern look on your face. Avalon greeted me with a warm hug, slayed me with dozens of gorgeous smiles, and cooed dreamily when talking about her favorite submissives and human pets. She took a slow sip of her ginger iced-tea right from the straw and divulged how much she enjoys a long game of ‘cat and mouse’ with a client. She likes to get to know someone over a slice of pizza or at a bar with a pinball machine in order to properly get in their head and turn them into putty in her knowing hands. Even if you’re not a Pro Domme, getting in touch with your strengths and needs can be life-changing. My afternoon with Avalon solidified that there are infinite ways to wield your personal power and that the confines of traditional whips and chains, are exciting, but don’t always work for everyone all the time. This Goddess inspires us to tap into our inner bad-ass every chance we can. 

 

MH: Please introduce yourself and what you do?

AB: I am Avalon Black, a Dominatrix based out of the Bay Area. You can call Me Mistress, Mx, or Goddess. I’ve been in the sex industry for over five years, I entered as a porn actress. I’ve spent the last three years crafting My Domination persona and style. I’ve had a lot of fun adventures while nurturing My ever-evolving Dominant side.

 

MH: Describe your personal Domination style:

AB: I’m the girlfriend you wish you had, the one who isn’t afraid of some kinky sexy time but can also empathize with you about the emotions they can bring up. I’m not always going to show up in head-to-toe LLL (latex, leather or lingerie), but I will make you melt every time I see you.    

MH: What does it mean when you capitalize your own pronouns?

AB: For Me, it signifies the authority I inevitably attain during our conversations, a constant reminder of My supremacy. It’s not always used, but it’s My personal choice as a Dominant.

MH: What do prospective clients/submissives need to know about you?

AB: I really love the initial incredulity in their voice once they’ve finally mustered up the courage to call and they realize I don’t answer the phone as The Dominant Bitch™. I’m naturally intimidating, which can come with its own exhilarating power, but it also means I’m responsible for how I wield that power. Deep down, I’m a sensitive empath, which really helps Me to connect with My clients. It gives them the true fantasy they’re craving, while simultaneously reinforcing and realizing My own personal beliefs around kink and politics.                                         

MH: What is one of your fav ways to connect with your submissive when domming?

AB: Going slow. I love the long game. The slow tease of meeting Me for the first time, coming in with all these ideas and expectations that tend to just get left at the door. I’m as quirky as I am flirtatious, but I take My time to really dissect the kink or fetish to be a better, more holistic provider. This deeper understanding allows me to catch My clients by surprise!

MH: Describe your dream session:

AB: I hate to be that person that says I don’t know that My perfect session exists, but I really value the time I spend with each client differently. I would love to meet someone with truly devotional tendencies, who is honest with where they’re at in life and in kink, and financially able to afford Me.

MH: Tell me about these PORN parties you started producing?

AB: Well, PORN is a limited edition series of parties, hosted at The Stud, made special for queers and sex workers that started a couple of months after SESTA/FOSTA legislation (stopsesta.org) became law. Essentially, this law is written as an anti-trafficking effort but does a lot of harm to sex workers. Workers were pushed off escorting websites, hell, Backpage got shut down! With websites now able to be prosecuted for human trafficking, most stopped carrying advertisements for working escorts, and many workers were unable to support themselves in the same way. So, I started the PORN parties to have a safe and fun atmosphere for sex workers and their clients, while also mingling with other workers. This line of work is very unique in its need for community support, so I decided to make space for it. The parties are currently seeking a new home, but I have plenty of other exciting events and projects I’m working on. You can find out more at MeetAvalonBlack.com or send an email to AvalonBlack@protonmail.com

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Maxine Holloway

Maxine Holloway

Maxine is a sex worker, advocate, and new mom. She works for sex worker justice through the ever-intersecting avenues of community organizing, politics, education, and art. Her pornography performances and direction earned her AVN nominations, an XBIZ award, and a Feminist Porn Award. She founded the AskFirstCampaign.org to raise awareness about communication and consent. She co-founded BayAreaWorkersSupport.org, a sex worker resource organization. See more at www.maxineholloway.com (SFW)