While the rest of us were screwing around with all that Chipotle nonsense, the Centers For Disease Control and Prevention, otherwise known as the CDC, were launching its latest ad campaign geared towards women and fetal alcohol syndrome. Unfortunately it read more like a fundamentalist Christian attack on your vagina,

    I used to have an iTunes playlist called Music To Fuck To, a curated aural orgy of thumping bass and wah-wah guitar glory.  All the obvious songs were there—”Whole Lotta Love,” “Come Together,” “Lebanese Blonde.” Naturally, I played it one night when I was giving a platonic massage to

Might as Well Face it You’re Addicted to Sex I had sex with a married woman in the backseat of my Boss’s car. She began flicking her tongue between my thighs while my Boss was driving down 6th St.  At 8th St. her nipple slid onto my clitoris while a

A job interview is like dating, or is dating like a job interview? You know where I’m going here. You sit down with a stranger for an allotted amount of time and you try to impress each other with bullshit. You spend so much time preparing for these meetings, but

There are two questions people ask me right off the bat when I tell them I just completed 40 Tinder dates in 40 days…

Most of us have heard the dull and alliterative hip-hop proverb: you can’t turn a ho into a housewife. It’s a relatively new incarnation of a very old idea that probably comes from the Old Testament or some other terrible book. While the wording has changed throughout the years the

Being a writer probably means you’re a moody introspective introvert dork. I mean that in the kindest and most affectionate of ways, because I am one of you. Being a successful writer means you’ve probably learned the art of charm and can connect with pretty much anyone on the planet for