There was a time… A time before Chevy Chase turned into a dildo. A time before Randy Quaid went totally off his balls. A time when Beverly D’Angelo was still a fox. A time when wholesome families all over America parked their station wagons in the garage on a snowy

Listen, I’m a simple girl with simple needs.  As long as I can scour my local Salvation Army for ill-fitting ethnic print dresses and eat a burrito at least once a week, I am pretty much satisfied.  But lately, times have gotten tough.  This girl is horribly underemployed, and my–

Like a lot of people my age who are trying to Make It Happen, I’ve kind of got a lot of shit going on right now.  I work a full-time job that I don’t love in order to pay the bills, work at an online fashion magazine after my office

There’s a favorite memory amongst my friends Leyli, Marie and me– a memory about the three of us waiting on a subway platform, and being met by the putrid stinkeyes of a gaggle of stiletto-heeled, shiny-dressed bitches. They were all gussied up (likely for a night of rubbing up against

I haven’t broken into a run since 2002.  That was sophomore year of high school, when I used to get in trouble in P.E. class for leisurely bicep-curling five pound weights and gossiping with hoodrat girls who called me “Tasty Vanilla,” when I should have been pumping iron.  But, alas,

Recently, I gave my grandma a jingle to thank her for the desperately-needed cash that she sent to me for my birthday. Little did I know that my 80 year old granny has been reading this Goddamn Website! I mean, she lives in LA, chain smokes, goes to galleries, and