Lena Dunham launched Her New Book Famesick in San Francisco

On a warm Sunday night in May, Lena Dunham launched her new book Famesick in San Francisco at The City Arts & Lectures, pulling together a crowd of weird, cool-looking people in a sold-out theater.

The audience was its own show. As I walked in, I caught snippets like “I don’t have social media, but I follow her on Substack” and “Do you follow her on Substack? OMG, you have to!” I agree — her Substack is great — but isn’t it another form of social media? Anyway…

The stage was set like a little world of its own: a bed at the center, an accent chair on each side, a cheetah lamp, and a stack of books — My Life on the Road (Gloria Steinem), Make Trouble (Cecile Richards), I Might Regret This (Abbi Jacobson), The Memory Librarian (Janelle Monáe), Dear Girls (Ali Wong), Grand Union (Zadie Smith), and a few Michael Lewis titles.

Before she even walked out, a video collage of photos — herself, friends, castmates — played on the screen, setting the tone and warming up the room.

Lena entered on her own, no introduction needed. She sat on her bedside chair and read parts of the book, then eventually hopped into the bed. She was calm and cool, never performative, very comfortable in her own skin, dressed in a cute tutu and gorgeous shoes, which she immediately took off onstage to get cozy.

Only then did Michael Lewis join her — the only straight man she says is allowed in bed with her on this book tour. She’s adapting his book Going Infinite: The Rise and Fall of a New Tycoon. Their relationship is lovely and warm, very unexpected, and because of their countless differences, incredibly captivating. It created a great setup for the conversation to unfold.

It took me years to sympathize with Lena Dunham (now I know I was the one missing out), and I blame the way the media portrayed her and how unfair and distorted that image was.

When the excellent documentary Everything Is Copy about Nora Ephron came out, I saw Lena reading a text in it and thought, “She’s a Nora girl!” It felt like wiping a foggy glass and finally seeing something through it. I didn’t have HBO when Girls came out in 2012; I was in my no‑TV, full‑time‑artist hazy life. It took me years to catch up.

After reading her first book, Not That Kind of Girl, it hit me that I actually like her, a lot. It felt like sitting with a girlfriend, talking about everything we learned from our experiences and our long‑gone and dearly missed Nora Ephron. It felt like a little gift from Nora!

Her new book, Famesick, is everything we wanted — well written, raw, and honest in a way we need in this era of perfect lives online. Cartoonist Peter Bagge once said it’s best to write about personal things at least five years after they happen, or at least publish them after five years, when the heat has cooled and you can decide what’s worth keeping and what’s unnecessary. That’s exactly what Dunham did, and it works. There’s no self‑commiseration; she’s simply telling her story.

Some people are reading it for the hot tea — and yes, there’s some tea — but anytime a public person shares their life, isn’t it tea anyway?

In her 30s, she was diagnosed with Ehlers‑Danlos syndrome (Marjorie — the woman, a stranger, who reached out and helped her get that diagnosis — was in the audience, and Dunham was clearly emotional seeing her). She was also diagnosed with endometriosis. Living with chronic health issues and being treated like you’re crazy can take a real toll. Her stories are brutal, and it’s impossible not to empathize with her. I left the theater thinking about relationships, vulnerability, addiction and superficial pooping. That's right, it's a thing and Lena is that kind of friend who will tell you about it and it might save your life one day. 

There are so many reasons to read or listen — the audiobook is great, and I got it at SFPL Famesick. Here are six:

She ended the night with a guided meditation that only the voice of a generation could pull off, enjoy.