California League of Adult Scavenger Hunters 2011 Season Opening Tomorrow Night!

"Apply lipstick to each other using your lips." Mmmmmmmm.

When I first came to San Francisco, I didn’t know many people.  Two activities (three if excessive solo drinking at bars counts) connected me with my current group of friends:  Moving in with roommates from Craigslist and joining a sports league.  While the former is undoubtedly a direct channel to a network of new friendships, it’s also the biggest hassle of all time unless you have to move anyway.  That leaves sports.  The softball league I’ve played in for over a year now ensures that my Thursday nights are amazing and end with Jager bombs, dirty stretch pants and a feeling of incredible accomplishment.  Interpret as you wish.

The broad spectrum of sports in adult leagues pretty much means there’s something for everyone, whether it’s flag football, indoor soccer or rugby.  Of course, some less-than-physical people would like the comraderie of a team without the actual breaking-a-sweat part.  I know what you’re thinking, and it’s comprised of one word, two syllables — “kickball.”  I know from experience, however, that frat guys in jerseys with the team name “Unicorn Tits” screenprinted across their chests get old real fast.

Drinking never gets old, though, and neither does being part of a team, which is what makes  CLASH, the Californa League of Adult Scavenger Hunters, so appealing.  The 2011 season begins tomorrow night and consists of meeting at a designated starting point (in tomorrow’s case, The Royal Cuckoo),  being divided up into teams (come with your friends or be placed with very nice strangers), and commencing an hour-long free-for-all to complete/photograph as many tasks as you can.  There’s also a judging process afterward wherein the winning team gets a prize!  I don’t know what the prize is, but who cares?  Winners are winners and losers are ugly.  It only costs $5.15 to compete if you pay here in advance; at the door, the cost rises to $10.  Sometimes scavenger hunt shit sounds really lame; this doesn’t.  In fact, it sounds awesome.  Tasks range from the absurd (“Form a 20-person limbo line) to the risque (“Guys on the team take body shots off your female teammates”) to the downright nasty (“Team members clean out each other’s ears with Q-tips”).  The clear winner, though, and my personal favorite from the website is “Give your teammate a pearl necklace.”  Cheeky, that.