Alex Mak - Managing Editor

26 Sep 2019

Global Warming Causes Electrical Fan Use to Increase by 9000% in San Francisco

In 1970 the average low for San Francisco was a little over 53 degrees across summer months. By 2018, that figure was up to a little over 56 degrees.  “56 degrees at night in San Francisco is already untenable,” said a local San Franciscan, “But 80 degrees?!  We’re not equipped

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26 Sep 2019

Global Warming Causes Electrical Fan Use to Increase by 3000% in San Francisco

In 1970 the average low for San Francisco was a little over 53 degrees across summer months. By 2018, that figure was up to a little over 56 degrees.  “56 degrees at night in San Francisco is already untenable,” said a local San Franciscan, “But 80 degrees?!  We’re not equipped

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26 Sep 2019

E-cigarette Executive Claims Only Side-Effect of ‘Vaping’ is looking like a ‘Douche bag’

E-cigarette Executive M. Burns told the press Wednesday, “This recent outbreak of lung injury is not caused by E-Cigarette products,” he said, “we did extensive testing, and the only measurable side effect of using ‘vapes’, was a significant increase in douche levels in the individual.” In fact, dangerous levels of

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26 Sep 2019

E-Cig Exec Claims Only Side-Effect of ‘Vaping’ is looking like a ‘Douche bag’

E-cigarette Executive M. Burns told the press Wednesday, “This recent outbreak of lung injury is not caused by E-Cigarette products,” he said, “we did extensive testing, and the only measurable side effect of using ‘vapes’, was a significant increase in douche levels in the individual.” In fact, dangerous levels of

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19 Sep 2019

Rent Hikes Force Amici’s, Pete’s, Pedro’s, & Gemignani’s to Close Outside Ballpark

It’s rough being a Giants fan these days.  With the organization’s legendary Manager Bruce Bochy retiring, and the team working on its 3rd consecutive losing season, things aren’t as bright as they were during the Championship years of 2010, 2012 and 2014, when San Francisco dominated all of baseball. Businesses

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19 Sep 2019

Rent Hikes & Losing Baseball Force Amici’s Pizza, Pete’s Tavern, Pedro’s Cantina to Shutter

It’s rough being a Giants fan these days.  With the organization’s legendary Manager Bruce Bochy retiring, and the team working on its 3rd consecutive losing season, things aren’t as bright as they were during the Championship years of 2010, 2012 and 2014, when San Francisco dominated all of baseball. Businesses

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17 Sep 2019

All Overdue Library Book Fines Are Forgiven in San Francisco!

“All outstanding overdue fines will be cleared from all patron records. No exceptions, no questions. You are fabulously fine free.” – SF Public Library Somewhere in San Francisco there is a bibliophile shouting in ecstasy and popping a Champagne bottle, before quickly being shushed by a librarian, because they no

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