Best Satire
Study Finds PDA is 47% More Annoying During a Pandemic
A new study shows that people who put on Public Displays of Affection are on the hot seat this week. As scientists have proven that ‘PDA’, while annoying in a normal year, has become 47% more annoying during a pandemic. “Social distancing is a serious thing,”said scientist Dr. Sara Adans.
Man Furious to Find Other People Enjoying Park During Quarantine
Despite the government’s shelter in place order, directing citizens to stay at home unless they need to “PROVIDE OR RECEIVE CERTAIN ESSENTIAL SERVICES”. People still seem to be taking walks in parks periodically, and still seem to be walking their dogs and exercise outside their homes. Local man Kenneth Buttress
How to Safely Eat Your Pets During a Food Shortage
It’s day 11 of quarantine, and if you are like me, you’re starting to think about eating your pets. Not because you have anything against your wife’s Pomeranian named ‘Penelope’, but because your government is asking you to shelter in place, and to conserve supplies, and you have mouths to
Pence Praying 6-7 Times a Day for Trump to Contract Coronavirus
“If I have to, I’ll give it to him myself” Pence whispered to God on Tuesday morning during prayer group. The Vice President and appointed ‘Coronavirus Czar‘, may not believe in actual science, but he certainly knows how to listen to the voice in his head. “God has plan,” Pence
Pence Praying 6-7 Times a Day for Trump to contract Coronvirus
“If I have to, I’ll give it to him myself” Pence whispered to God on Tuesday morning during prayer group. The Vice President and appointed ‘Coronavirus Czar‘, may not believe in actual science, but he certainly knows how to listen to the voice in his head. “God has plan,” Pence
Heroic Images from the Haight St Blackout last night
At approximately 830pm in Hayes Valley, some PG&E equipment caught fire underground. The result was a blackout for neighborhoods on the surrounding power grid. Upper and Lower Haight St, Hayes Valley, parts of the Castro, Western Addition, even the goddamn Ballet had to close down and cancel its performance. As
Putin Gives Trump a ‘Full Pardon’ on New Years Day
Moscow – President Vladimir Putin held his annual New Year’s Eve party and this year President Trump was in attendance. Putin gave a grand toast at midnight and officially pardoned the American President for all his transgressions in 2019. In front of a crowd of party-goers, Putin gave a speech