Women, specifically the prospect of having sex with them, both terrified and fascinated me growing up. I would immediately volunteer myself into the friend zone because that always seemed easier than enduring the potential failure of romantic pursuits. It certainly didn’t help that I was a “dorky” kid, who was

Generally before I make any decisions in life, I ask myself one important question: What would Ryan Lochte Do? I’ve always wanted to be a world class idiot (and swimmer) with his own reality show, and everyone knows Lochte is so fast because he shaves his whole body. After all, that’s how

When I tell people who I used to be, they don’t believe me. And not just because I used to be black. It’s because I was withdrawn, lacking in all things self-esteem, clad in Matrix gear (complete with trenchcoat), and emphatically Christian. People who knew me then hardly recognize me

For those of you who don’t know what pegging is, it’s a neologism created by all-around-awesome-guy Dan Savage, that basically involves a broom handle, some duct tape, and a man and woman who want to spice things up in the bedroom, but couldn’t spring for the furry costumes. If you’ve never pegged or been

I can’t tell if I’m waking up or just going to sleep. My drunken stupor has muffled my senses, each coming in and out of focus in a kaleidoscope of sound and touch. I slowly begin to ascend the tiers of sobriety, and as I do, my senses return. There

Before I even had much sense of what oral sex was (“it’s when you say naughty things into someone else’s ear,” my fellow 6th grader assured me), I knew that going down on a girl was something very unpleasant, something that smelled like fish (turns out Chicken of the Sea is

I drink a lot. Probably too much, but I don’t know where you draw the line when it comes to putting poison in your body, so I’ll just assume it’s in chalk somewhere around your dead body. Coming from a family with a history of addiction, I’m keenly aware of