Friends, is this the San Francisco you dreamed of? The sparkling, golden dream of freewheeling political experiment, debate, and protest; colorful art, poetry, and music that fly completely free from rent-money and basic-bro anxiety; diverse culture, nightlife, and style that springs from pure expression rather than some lame-ass PowerPoint marketing plan?

How many of us have had brilliant “aha moments” or inhaled inspiration, yet nothing ever comes of it because of lack of cash? What if you were given an extra $1k, $5k, $10k (or more?). Guess what, my fellow procrasti-stoners, if socks made of coffee can raise $204,601, or a